I hate life at the moment as I feel utterly stuck and overwhelmed with emotions.
To start off I work for Balfour Beatty on a military base for housing as my spouse in active duty. I started at $16 an hour as my coworkers were all bumped up to $16 an hour when I started. During my time working for this company I have seen so many things I wish I could delete from my memory.
Some examples of the things I’ve had to walk into and see, an abandoned house with recent dead dogs. Blood on walls and rooms with human and pet feces. A carpet so badly stained and damaged that I couldn’t tell you the original color. A cat box with poo in it next to a child playing with toys and a cat turd in the child’s hand. So many holes in walls from people getting mad or drunk. Smells that make me want to cry and at one point I threw up twice. A house where the resident smoked inside for years and the first time I’ve ever say fly poop on the walls.
There’s more and I’ve only been at this job for 11 months. We all had a $2500 bonus that was tax free but the way the company did it was less than $2500. And to make things feel suffocating my raise was only 6%. I now make $16.80 and my coworkers make $17-$17.92. I’m not mad at them for making more I’m mad at the fact that the company thinks this is good enough. How can the BAH in this area be $1776 and we can’t even match that for a check?
I’m looking for another job as I’m crushed and was stupid to be hopeful for such a company. I love my team and we all click but this is not the economy. I took this job to be closer to my spouse and a pay cut of $4 which I didn’t think would make a difference. But after being treated the way I am here and how traumatic some things are I no longer have a fighting spirit in me. Not to mention trying to make our office safer at night and getting a generic email from the VP of military operations, which I replied to with “your response is nothing but a loosely placed bandaid”. That I will be responsible for and I don’t regret it.
Fuck this job, fuck this company.