First time posting here, looking for some unbiased advice. Long story here, but figure context is necessary.
Current status: I have a well paying job, with great benefits (insurance, 401k, private pension, etc). I’m an IT infrastructure manager, overseeing data centers. My boss is a good guy, but very hands off, leaving me isolated on an island. The people that work for me (inherited) are vastly incapable of doing the work and I pickup the swath of slack.
Background: I started with this company over 12 years ago. I have a few college courses in the books but not even an associates degree. I was a shitty student with no direction, but knew how to work. I moved my way up as I’ve always been hungry and have a solid work ethic. I’m first generation in the US, my parents came to here from the Middle East. I started out as a desktop support guy and eventually moved my way up into a data center engineering role (no prior experience). Had an absent boss for years who was eventually canned, they told me to take over as I had been kicking ass there and carried all the slack. That was cool because my boss didn’t do much, if anything.
I was already burnt out at that point. I had a breakdown earlier this year (I suffer from anxiety disorder and depression). I put in my 2 weeks after not finding another job because I couldn’t take it any longer. They came back at me and asked what it would take for me to stay. They met all my conditions but I’m approaching my previous state. I’m miserable. I work 60-80 hours a week, many weekends, and get called in when I’m out of work. I get paid well but it’s not worth it anymore.
When I’m not at work I’m thinking about it, waking up at all hours of the night in panic. I guess I’m just not cut out for this. I have no life outside work anymore, and all my free time is taken by my anxiety over it. I worked really hard to build a nest egg (no kids or wife, no debt, just a modest mortgage on a small condo in the burbs near family), but it kills me to have to blow through all that work and just quit.
I think I need a low stress job just in the interim, I don’t want to chew through the savings I worked so hard to attain, and lose insurance (being in the US). I live very modestly. I just want some peace so I can be in a place to find new direction.
I guess I don’t know if I should approach my management with my problems and seek an alternative position, or seek something else (which I have no time for). I just want to pay the bills at this point and not have daily panic attacks. My life quality is in the shitter.
Any advice would be awesome. Thanks all.