Let me start off by saying I do my job VERY WELL. I work in IT. Every other week my boss tells me I am doing great and I’m appreciated and then flips the switch and all of sudden it seems like for no reason at all I’m not!
Our office dynamic is one of my bosses family members and 2 family friends.
Last week there was a stomach bug going around the office (5 of us work in-office).
I have an extreme phobia of vomiting as well as bipolar disorder associated with anxious distress (categorized as a disability).
Months prior I let my boss know that if someone is vomiting I would like them to stay home for 24-48 hours to decrease exposure. Last week, it hit our office as a surprise and I was at my desk shaking, crying, wearing a mask, trying my best because I’m an adult.
I told my boss through text what I was experiencing was incredibly debilitating, I was working through tears, etc.
I asked again if we could make accommodations. She said she would stay home another day and work remote.
Thursday she comes in and I am keeping my distance. She sits close to me so I get up and move away.
We have a meeting.
I did NOT want to go into her small office with her and a closed door but it didn’t seem like I had a choice.
She starts off by telling me “You asked to pick up more work last week because you wanted to learn more and I am sensing this week that you’re not working to be the best version of yourself?”
I was LIVID! Best version of myself? I am PROUD of myself for having this stupid anxiety and still showing up and doing my job through tears!
I told her I disagree and she kept saying “I feel” and “I sense” because it seems I fell off this week a bit.
Then goes to tell me that she made accommodations for me by staying home another day, she wants everyone to work above baseline and not just do the amount everyone else is doing. Essentially going above and beyond. She called this a “crucial conversation,” as it ended amicably because I kept it professional while disagreeing and telling her she should look at the numbers, because that’ll show my performance.
Then she tells me that she trusts me more than anyone on the team, I am her “go to” person, and she doesn’t want me to look for work elsewhere?
I am constantly getting whisywashy statements and feel like I am not doing good enough while I am doing 50% more than others.
I am overwhelmed and stressed. I scheduled another meeting on Tuesday because I submitted my disability to HR and I think everything she said was completely unfair to me.
If anyone has any tips or things to bring up in the meeting, I am open minded and I am ready to hopefully get some changes or to quit.