Being black (and dark skinned), plus size, non-binary, bisexual and polyam really put me in a corner. Discovering that I have ADHD is kinda the cherry on top of it. What leaves me desperate isn't really not fitting almost anywhere but the constant aggression for not being normative.
Besides all of that, I feel like weekends are just a brief timeout and there you go, back to being productive again. Low salaries, high rents, “inflation”, exploitation, racism, transphobia, biphobia, fatphobia… I got to the point that I don't wanna get out of bed to cook myself a decent meal. Survive on smoking, water and bread.
Well, at least when someone “compliments me”, I'll be able to share that depression is the best diet.
The amount of money it takes to afford living… It's a loop! And for what, really? To keep eachother making money for the next millionaire corporate guy?
Each day I feel like I'm closer to ending it all. I have some good days and then when I relapse, it's always worse than before.
I don't know if there are meds that will help with my sensation of being constantly overwhelmed by life, daily chores and the world in general or if I'm faded to a miserable life… I always loved feeling it all intensely but it's getting dangerous.
**Edited to correct a typo