I’ve been in PR for 10 years and at my current agency for two years. Long story short: I’ve been working on a large account since August and have hit the ground running by getting it to a more organized place, overseeing a team of approx. 10 and supporting them daily (and basically hourly) – everything from a gut check on an email before it reaches the client to helping them navigate top-tier media opportunities to leading client-facing meetings. Recently I expressed to my manager on this chaotic account – the only person “above” me on this account in terms of hierarchy – that I’ve been feeling overburdened. I wake up early (6am) and log off late (7pm) most days for my 9-5 job, and am on emails 24/7, including weekends. I operate on constant anxiety and stress because of this account.
All this to say, today I was part of a meeting for ANOTHER account – let’s call it Daisy – that was recorded. I said my portion, then hopped off to pick up my daughter from the sitter. When I returned to my comp, I played back the recording to take notes on what I had missed, and toward the end when most everyone hopped off except HR and my manager on Daisy, she shared that my OTHER manager on my chaotic account had expressed concern about my lack of confidence. She was given no context of what this meant because on the Daisy account I run it well but that HR should look into this further.
My weekend is absolutely ruined with this knowledge I’m not supposed to be aware of. As my manager on the chaotic account, I would think any areas of concern should be addressed with me directly first, so I’m not sure why it wasn’t. But now – it’s been brought to the attention of two individuals, one who has nothing to do with the circumstance and the other is HR.
I’m so sad and am just crying that this would even be a topic of conversation and don’t know where the “lack of confidence” is stemming from. The only times I’ve ever vocalized “negativity” on my chaotic account is by saying I’m overburdened, anxious and stressed. And nothing has been done on this front to help me progress and achieve a healthier place in my role.
For background, everyone who I’ve mentioned above has been at the agency 10+ years. The only one I respect 100% is my manager on Daisy, so I don’t want her to know I heard the recording as it might make her look foolish to have discussed this on a recording (plus, she said she works well with me, and I appreciate that).
I’ve shared this scenario with two people: one who is a former manager of mine and said it’s not a big deal, the other my best friend who said to address. I’m not a confrontational person, but this has brought me significantly down. I’ve even yelled at my beautiful daughter out of frustration, and this just isn’t fair to us.
I know I’m emotionally driven, so if I’m overreacting, let me know. If you think I am not overreacting but should let it go, I understand. And, if you think I should address, would love feedback on how to gently approach. Thank you!