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Antiwork

I hate my job soo much but I work for myself – am I just being entitled?

I started a coaching and training side hustle 10 years ago. I was so passionate about it then and hustled so hard to build it up and I use to love what I did – it initially didn’t even feel like work. I had just been made redundant and it was the perfect opportunity for me to try something different. It was the best job ever as I was my own boss (well not really, my clients are my boss) but you get what I mean. It was soo much better then my previous job. Also once you start working for yourself, I knew it would be super hard to go back to being an employee so I guess I kind of felt like this option was the better compared to the alternative. I managed to sustain the passion an drive for a while but eventually it started to feel…


I started a coaching and training side hustle 10 years ago. I was so passionate about it then and hustled so hard to build it up and I use to love what I did – it initially didn’t even feel like work. I had just been made redundant and it was the perfect opportunity for me to try something different.

It was the best job ever as I was my own boss (well not really, my clients are my boss) but you get what I mean. It was soo much better then my previous job. Also once you start working for yourself, I knew it would be super hard to go back to being an employee so I guess I kind of felt like this option was the better compared to the alternative.

I managed to sustain the passion an drive for a while but eventually it started to feel like work an I started dreading it. I still tried to persevere an put in long hours and days as like I mentioned the alternative seemed crap and I wanted to save as much as possible so to never have to put up with a crap job ever again.

But I eventually got burnt in the process- working 6 to 7 days a week for several years. I also explored the idea of hiring people to try deliverer the “product” but found I hated managing people, running a business an the admin and skills needed for that and much preferred it just being my little side hustle.

Anyway fast forward 10 years and I’m ready to consider giving it completely and then the pandemic hit. I managed to transitional all my clients to online and still charge the same rate.

I lost some clients and got new ones and now run my whole business online but I still hate it!

I’m now just working from home and meeting clients on zoom and as shameful as this sounds but I started to have a discrete glass of wine/beer if it’s an evening session just to try get through it. I also try to multi task whilst coaching my clients like watch YouTube whilst I give my client a task to do rather then being fully present – how bad is that? I guess it a reflection of how much I hate the job now and how little passion I feel currently unfortunately.

I kind of feel like it’s a form of golden handcuffs. I get to work from home, watch YouTube or have a drink, not have a boss, but I’m soo drained. It is soo exhausting coaching clients and I get super anxiety looking at my schedule, thinking about my appointments, clients..etc

All I want to do is go on my bike, go to the gym or literally do anything that will get me off a computer screen and not on zooms or teams.

I don’t t think I can really raise my prices any further as I’m already on the upper range. I guess if I contine at this pace, I can probably quit work all together in 5-6 years and then just chill for the rest of my life. I’m currently 37 years old so should definitely have the stamina and time I guess.

Alternatively , I can get start closing down my side hustle and look for a job which would not pay nearly as much and it would mean I would have to work for much longer but hopefully it may be a lot more enjoyable?

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