Hi everyone. I(M22) was recently diagnosed with a condition called Endocrine Pancreatic Insufficiency and it has the potential to fuck up my life more than it already has. I have struggled with this for over a year and a half after quiting my minimum wage job working retail. I am seriously afraid for my future because it affects my ability to work drastically with the chronic pain it causes. What makes it worse is that I live with a conservative family in a fairly conservative part of the country that just echoes the 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' mentality about all things relating to money. I also must mention that I am autistic and that adds a whole new layer of difficulty to this for me. My Dad is the only one trying and actually helping.
I used to be on their side until all of my friends (rightfully) left me and do not speak to me because of how awful of a human I was. I have done a complete 180 and now that I see that the wealth inequality is perpetuated by conservative nutjobs that want us to work until we die. For me, that is a scary concept because there is a good chance that I don't get to live as long as I would like because of my condition. What reason do I have to contribute to a system that is trying to kill me? America is an uncompassionate nation full of bigots and hate-preachers that want to hurt people like me and my fellow Americans. I am now a socialist(the only human choice) and it makes me more compassionate towards my fellow humans.
I guess the point I am trying to get at is it is very hard for me to tell when I am being exploited due to my autism to the point it has happened already once. I am in fear for my life, but have been trapped in my parent's house for all this time watching everyone I knew and know move on with life. It is so frustrating and disheartening to watch. I was going to community college when Covid hit, but I stopped going to class because of work related issue that I wont elaborate on(privacy) and am now stuck.
I do not see a point in this shit. Every time I try to say I want to go back at some point I get called a commie by my mother because she is of those Qanon people. I am so afraid of working myself to death and don't even know what a future for someone like me would look like or if it would even be worth the effort. This system breeds hopelessness and makes it normal and hurts or kills people who speak out against it. America and it's founding ideals are long dead.