My psychiatrist, therapist and GP all advised me to leave my job because of how bad my mental and physical health had gotten
I had been bullied by a very senior member of staff, and anyone I could talk to about it (HR, my manager) wasnt senior enough to actually address the problem
Since I left I've felt dramatically better, my stomach pain decreased quickly and I've been able to eat meals again instead of the weight gain shakes I had been on for months. I have the energy to talk to friends and read and play with my cats. I stopped feeling suicidal
Yet I still have thoughts about how “my job wasn't as bad as others, I should have just gotten on with it” and I feel tremendously lazy and entitled, despite all the evidence and professional advice that it was harming me and I should have left
I'm scared about starting a new job, I feel so useless, even though I'm pretty well regarded in my field. I feel like such a fraud
How do I overcome this? Rationalizing that my job isn't who I am hasn't helped, it feels like I may have actually made a mistake by leaving. I'm 29, the thought of cycling through this again with new jobs scares me