The reason why I’m scared is because of financial ruin. I need money, I want money. But shit I don’t want a job. This is anti work so I know that statement has probably been made a hundred times. I’ve been here before mentally during 2020 and was able to pull myself out of it by taking a low stress job working no more than 5 hrs a day. I kept getting jobs like that low hours, but increasing pay (ironically). That was in undergrad though so it was more acceptable.
I graduated in 2021 with BS Accounting so I feel like I have to get a FT job making at least $18hr. I want so badly to move out. The problem with this is I have become so unmotivated, my work ethic is nonexistent. I have only been unemployed for 4 months prior to this current position.
I don’t know if I’m depressed or what? Honestly I don’t feel depressed (granted a former therapist I had in uni told me I could just be use to the depressed feelings that they’ve become my mood). I’m actually ok I’m just broke and don’t see a way out because I don’t want to work for any of these mfs.
I may sound like a baby. That’s fair, criticize me. But it’s not going to change how I feel. Nothing does. I am employed right now took something just to keep money in my pocket. But i feel like im waiting on the other shoe to drop. The job is $15 for an 1 hour commute on a busy interstate. My car is over 200K mi, couple miles overdue for an oil change.
This sucks but it was my only option so I went for it. I am looking for other jobs but im kinda like what’s the point? I can’t seem to find something that I can get up and do everyday for 8 hours.
Writing here to see if any Of you have had this feeling and how you dealt with it? I have no kids. Should I do a career change? Pick up and move? Enlist in the military? I really have no ties to anything. I feel like I’m in the middle of the ocean. This Type of shit use to make me consider ending it all (yes the big S word) but I know there has got to be another way.
Context: 25, F. Graduated in Accounting in 2021. Don’t really like accounting but the skill set has been valuable with getting low wage jobs. Not enough experience for the higher paying jobs, but don’t really want them anyway bc of the shitty corporate environment (worked corporate straight out of college; drove me mad).