Let me preface this by saying I'm Bipolar type 1. I've spent almost the entire past 24 hours in a manic episode. I feel attacked and put in a corner. My thoughts are angry and wild. I cannot concentrate or think clearly, and I cannot eat.
I've worked for the same company for almost 10 years. This is a satellite shop connected to a service corporation of around 50 to 60 employees. There has only ever been eight people in my shop, with four of those people being technicians.
Yes, I made mistakes in life before I started here, and I actively attempted to rectify them and better myself. I do not have kids and I'm not married. I put 100% in my job everyday and document every single thing I do. The entire past 10 years has felt like a constant battle of harassment, which would be discriminatory in nature. Differential treatment, assaults on my sexuality because I'm single, and possibly intentional pestering because I'm Bipolar; so I might have an outburst. Overtime I finally put the general manager in his place, who was the sole aggressor and bully. Over the past few years the service manager seems to be taking that stance, but he is very sly and thinks he is much smarter than he is.
We aren't allowed to look at previous work history through the web portal, nor are we allowed to know how much money we're bringing into this company. Our bonus checks were stripped away 3 years ago without any discussion.
While the general manager is away on vacation the service manager told me he wanted to have a meeting today. He wanted to discuss goofs and mistakes I might have made in the past 6 months. Apparently he has kept a running list of grievances that the general manager has shrugged off but he just can't let go of.
They run us ragged, constantly swapping trucks and tools around, constantly overloading us with jobs and no time to finish the paperwork. We don't even know what we're going to do tomorrow until 4:30 today. We are never involved in the planning and prep for major projects. It is always sprung upon us with the highest expectations. Some trucks I may not even get into for an entire year. Some types of equipment I may not even run into for 2 to 3 years. I try my best to keep up with this every single day.
All I hear about from the other techs is complaints, but no one ever says a single thing. I just wrote a six-page letter to the service manager with my grievances, along with another six to seven page document listing out every single job I've had within every week throughout this year. Although we're not allowed to look at our past history I document everything I do every single day. So, I thought about finishing up the document with some questions for him. Curious what you think of these questions.
I desperately want to move on, but I really don't exactly know what I want to do next in life. I have tremendous IT, electrical, and mechanical skills, and I'm not afraid of manual labor. I'm just getting older and tired of physical labor. I need to vent, because I don't have anyone to talk to. I really need to stay in this job for another couple of years and then my house is fully paid for.
I'm thinking about utilizing MD live to start speaking to a therapist once or twice a week. It's almost impossible to actually have in-person schedules for things. We have to file any time off 30 days in advance. Here's my questions:
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do you deny making inappropriate jokes to me pertaining to my sexuality?
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do you deny making inappropriate racist remarks to me, regarding black people?
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do you deny singling me out with unnecessary meetings to point out all my flaws, yet refuse to do so with other technicians?
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do you deny directing specific policies you have created only to me, and not enforcing it on others?
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do you deny threatening to fire me as a joke?
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do you deny going behind your general manager's back to reprimand an employee, without the general managers approval?
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do you deny threatening my termination if I speak to other employees about wages, which is a violation of the Federal National Labor Relations Act?
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do you feel like the morale of your four technicians is low, and if so, what are your plans to rectify this situation?
There might be more questions to add and I'll edit if I think of them. Thanks for any moral support. I'm burnt out.