I currently work in a company, its a typical 8-4 job and I have worked here for around 2 months. I used to work for this other company for around 2 years until I decided it was time to upgrade and get a boozt in my career, so I applied and got this new position. This one is a bit more complicated and required a lot more training and focus than my previous job.
I have ADHD and autism I’m 25 btw. It’s been hard working with other people with my diagnosis but at the same time I enjoy working from 8 to 4. I can sit for myself, listen to music, have coffee and relax while I work. I dont socialize too much as I struggle with my diagnosis + anxiety, so having conversations with my boss or other co workers is extremealy hard but I try my best.
It didnt go too well with my training, I could not understand the tasks at all, it was too much at once and with my ADHD brain I couldn’t handle learning 10 different things at once. It was extremealy boring as well, and I have nothing in common with my co workers as they are males and older than me. They are nice people but I noticed that they had no patience at all when it came to training me.
My boss wanted a conversation with me, and we wnt inside this meeting room where he for an hour «yelled» at me. I could see that he wanted to scream but that he had to keep calm to act professional, I cant remember everything he said as I was in shock, but from what I remember he told me that he was dissapointed in me, that I dont bring any positive outcome and I dont show him any good results. I affect our team negatively and I affect his life negatively, and I dont socialize enough. He also said he was done with me, but that he gives me one last chance.
He doesnt know that I have autism and ADHD, and I havent told him yet either.
Yesterday I had an anxiety attack that lasted for an hour due to all the pressure from the work and my boss. I just couldnt handle it anymore. Long story short, my boss came into the room and straight out said «You’re done. Pack your things and dont come back».
I am so upset. I spent the whole day yesterday and today crying, throwing up, not eating and just hating myself. I am so dissapointed in myself. I feel like a failure. This has never happened before. At my old job, I could handle anything, I got a long with all my co workers and my boss, and therefore I thought I could handle this too. I cant help but feel bad for my current boss and team. I feel like I dissapointed them all, and they also spent so much time and energy to traine me and it all went to waste.
I called my previous boss to explain my siutation and asked if I could come back to work for him again, she said yes and that we could work out the contract things. I still dont feel relieved. I am embarassed. I just need some advice.