Hi! It was suggested that I post this here to see if there’s anything I should do about it. For reference, I am autistic.
Am I being too sensitive about an issue at work or was my boss out of line?
So I work at a quick service restaurant that is known for its hospitality and smiles. I’m pretty good at fake smiling but sometimes I think I’m smiling and I guess I’m not. My boss was casually mentioning it because were trying to get our survey scores up and it’s something everyone is being told to do. I said to her that I definitely do try but with my autism I might not realize sometimes but I do always speak in a friendly tone because I have practiced my customer service voice enough.
Then she said “oh we need to talk about that…” and proceeds to tell me that while she understands I’m autistic apparently I made someone uncomfortable by disclosing it at work and that I should not mention it and then proceeds to compare it to her daughter being gay. She said she knows that topic might make someone uncomfortable so she just doesn’t talk about her gay daughter I guess? Even though that’s not true, she talks about her daughter’s sexuality all the time, and I really don’t feel like comparing sexuality and autism to be the same thing. I mention and joke about my autism because I want to make it known that I have a disability that makes social interaction different for me, and that I may interpret something different than intended or I might say something that comes across as strange. I can understand if someone is uncomfortable with me disclosing it but I really feel offended that A.) she said it like I could just…. Turn off? My ability to make people uncomfortable? And B.) comparing a disability to sexuality, which requires no reasonable accommodations at work and COULD actually be considered an inappropriate workplace topic.
I’m unsure if I am just stuck in an overthinking loop or if I really do have a reason to be upset about this. I would love to hear others opinions. Thanks!