Hello everyone,
I'm not quite sure what the ultimate goal of this post is, maybe I'm just hoping to get someone has had similar experience and maybe get a few ideas that I would actually be able to use in my current situation.
I went to University for 5 years, the last four of those years I spent every semester including the Summers taking courses. From 2016 September all the way to April 2020 I was either working or taking courses or both.
Graduated right in the midst of covid, and at that point I was already burnt out from the consecutive semesters of school and work. Started looking for a job but did not find one for 7 months. Those 7 months were closest to the best time of my life minus the fact that I had no income and whatever stress comes along with that, but thanks to money I had saved and some student benefits Canadianv government was giving out at the time I was able to get by.
At the end of the 7 months, somehow I got a job that pays me decent, started working right at the end of 2020. Going into September 2023 I have been working since I started at this job minus 1 month I took off to attend a family event. That time off I took was in December 2022. Due to the nature of the event that entire month I was “on vacation” I had literally no time to relax and unwind it was just one thing after the other preparing for the event until I was back to work around Christmas time.
My problem is I can't take time off as i need the active income to pay off tax and student loans. Since I'm a consultant anytime I take off is not paid therefore I did not make income for the month when I was away for family event which was a financial hit that I'm still recovering from.
And as it stands right now I am so burnt out I literally feel; I don't even have the words to describe it. Every morning is a struggle to get out of bed knowing that I need to start working. Every night is a struggle to get into bed between my insomnia and knowing the fact that sleeping means my day(and my leisure time) ends and tomorrow is going to start with work. I just feel like I'm caught in this death loop of exhaustion, burnt out and what not and I see no end to it.
Don't get me wrong I don't hate my job but I don't love it either. It's just work. I work in a field that I find interesting and I enjoy and it can be engaging at times, but most of the time it's not stimulating work, but that's not really an issue for me I don't look at work as something I enjoy to do I just look at work as something I have to do, to live the life that I want to. Work I do pays the bills and pays for the life that I like to live. But currently due to not being in the best financial situation maybe it's not letting me do it completely.
I just love to hear from anybody who might have experienced something similar and what you might have done to get in a better mindset about it to make the day-to-day less unbearable. TIA