I’ll be honest, since the mass layoffs my team endured in February, I haven’t been as motivated to perform to my full potential. The layoffs caused a majorrrrr culture shift, including my THIRD manager in less than a year.
We have very diff personality types (she’s more passive, I’m more direct). She’s also more technical and lowky robotic. We haven’t really geled too well but it’s also not the worst relationship ever. It’s just awkward to say the least.
Anyway, we had a convo about my performance last week and she had very valuable feedback on things I can improve. She also opened the floor for me to explain my side of things, which I did. One of the issues I have is things aren’t always clear, leading me to not be sure where I have autonomy (I brought this up too) and as a result, I feel like I’m up in the air and approval delays are caused, especially because I’m waiting for her to give me the green light on things.
Ultimately, I’ve already begun working on the changes and will continue to do so. I’m honestly just nervous now because I feel like eyes are on me and I’m afraid to make a small mistake in the midst of my growth. For context, I’m one of the youngest ppl on my team and I’m one of the very fewwwwww of color.
I’ve already began my job search months ago and have been networking like crazy. I’m very talented and optimistic about my professional future. It’s just a matter of when I’ll find a new role 🙂 I don’t hate my job and I get paid very well, I just know it’s time to leave as I near my one year mark on this team. The convo w/ my manager made my imposter syndrome resurface unfortunately. I know I’ll be fine, I just need real advice and affirmation 🙂