Burned out & not respected in Non Profit
So for context I worked at this place for 2 summers before going to specialty trade school. My schooling was less then standard, and did another year at said school to pick up missed curriculum. I moved back to my home state to work for my current employer. For the first year everything was running smooth, working with alot of hats and my job slowly grew without much talk about scope of job or that.
After suffering the loss of my father in 2021, I had just started a high school 4 week class and had another person to manage. When work was informed, all 3 of my higher managers told me “to work as much as you want”, with no options for coverage or time off. The first break I get is in mid October, (he passed in beginning of July) I work through this into winter where my main boss tells me a projects has to be done over our 2 week holiday break or else we won't receive grant funding, so I spend most of my holiday in a below freezing shop to complete this project. Then when meeting for new years eve, I was told it wasn't that critical and that the workspace was a mess. The following February, I approached my operation manager telling them I was burned out and overloaded.
The following summer, after voicing my concerns with my workload and other various things. I was asked to go to another location to work with a contractor. In which I told my bosses concerns with working there, as we already had a few long time volunteers leave due to this contractors behavior. So I go to work for him and immediately am being told “you are sub par and this isn't the place to learn, you should go somewhere else”. When I bring this up to my bosses who hired and started this project, one told me to just put my head down, and the other main boss told me “to drink more”, and when pressed on areas on improvement for me I was told I “did weird shit” and when asked for examples , they responded “take a walk around the campus”.
My company is fairly relaxed on what “sick days” can be used for. So as I was being verbally abused most days, I came down to tell my managers that I don't like it and that I'm going home for my own health, to which I was told “I cannot keep doing this” though a big stipulation of this was making my schedule.
There are many examples,too many to list but I have a notes on these things, but most recent ones in the last 2 months are:
Constantly not told about events and forced to help out due to no staff on-site
Have my managers go behind me to talk to the staff I manage, to the point one of my staffed asked my boss to ask me about the things they want, and the response given was “when has CarpENTerr ever disagreed with me?”
Called a meeting to gain understanding on an event and logistics since it was overloading my team, and that meeting turned into the things that I haven't completed to help them run their event without my notice.
And mostly, I went to my HR rep in May to get a meeting with my boss who has been causing me the most issues with another staff member to mediate. I was still waiting for 2.5 months for that meeting, just to be told that it probably won't happen now that manager is moving on to another job.
I really love most of the volunteers and people I work for, one who is my partner, and the work can be interesting, but I feel like I'm not respected, and that my time would be of more use improving myself, rather then a non profits bottom line. My bosses have done a good job on making me feel like this is entirely my fault. ( I'm not going to say it was all on them, I made the mistake of trusting someone's judgement)
I think it is time for me to move on for my own mental health and professional growth. My therapist and other people in my life think I should leave, even including my bosses who told me I should go if need be.
I have lots of other context of issues that I feel would be dealbreakers for others too.
Any opinions or thoughts, even ones that are opposing mine, are welcome. Thanks for reading!