I feel like I am going crazy.
Several months ago my firm engaged a photographer to take our headshots. Except, this was no professional photographer. Friends, this guy literally counted to three and then took a photo. He would reset after every photo. He also did not know how to direct someone to frame them nicely for a shot. As for my firm, think of a stuffy profession similar to white shoe law firms where everyone thinks they are special and bred to be leaders on the Earth (eye rolllllsssss).
I modeled when I was younger (no college debt thaaaaaaanks) but it was always athletic or active swim wear as that was where I got the most work as I am pretty fit and tall. So think PG catalogues – never did anything risque or remotely fashion forward. PS commerical models such as I was can make a ton of money just doing general photo shoot spreads for clothing catalogues. I digress.
SOOOOOO during that weird photo shoot I asked the photographer where he usually gets work and he said oh I just got this camera and your boss is a family friend and offered me the work. Ok, this is starting to make sense. I looked at the shots of my colleagues and was horrified and made him redo them. They got much better photos in the second round. The first ones were so bad they were unusable.
Fast forward to last week I find out my boss had removed my new headshot from all materials. I then was told that it was inappropriate and he didn't want glamour shots and gave me a deriding look and said to use my 10yr old one instead.
My jaw dropped open and I said WHAT?! Which to the boss then ran out of my office and has not spoken to me since.
My job requires me to visibile. I present non stop and engage with clients on a daily basis. When I went thorugh a low period and was not always dressed to impress my boss also made a comment as to how I wasn't dressing as well as I should. This coming from a guy in jeans, sneakers and a raggedy arse polyester polo shirt. At that time I made it extremely clear that any comments about my appearance were not appreciated.
I feel like I am danged if I do, danged if I don't. I dress too well or present too well and I am mocked and told I just want attention. If I dont', I am scolded and told I am unprofessional.
Now with this glamour shot comment? I am humiliated. There is nothing wrong with my photo. I looked into the camera and smiled. I wore minimal make up and my body is FULLY covered. I feel so so so uncomfortable at this point. I went and deleted every trace of the new headshot from the company's folders. I was also finalizing a series of short videos and I have now removed myself from every final edit as well. I just am not remotely comfortable being on any form of media at this point. The other senior colleague also called them glamour shots and told me I was “modeling.”
How would you handle? I feel humiliated that he would refer a perfectly normal headshot as a sleazy glamour shot. I'm tempted to show up wearing a burka to the rescheduled shoot. Or just refuse a new headshot shoot entirely at this point.