Not sure if I’m looking for advice or just want to vent, I’m so discouraged with trying to succeed at this point. I’ll be 28 this Summer and still have no idea how to crawl out of debt, become a homeowner, or even just begin working towards a successful career.
I recently moved to the other side of my state, and when I say it’s a remote area – you’re driving over 50 minutes to get to Walmart. I’ve worked full time since I was 18. 5 years for a bank call center with various roles of increasing responsibility in collections, Fraud, and Marketing. By the last couple years there, I had worked my way off the phones. Lead special projects, took on rotational opportunities, not only joined their corporate “affinity” networks but was a pillar leader for TWO of them. Even completed their little “leadership development program”. Attempted to move into sales with them working with our clients. – Rejected due to lack of sales experience or 4 year degree.
Left them to obtain sales experience and ended up in car sales. Despite the toxic culture, terrible work life balance, and extreme stress the money was great (for me) until a global pandemic hit disrupting the entire industry. 3 years at the dealership and I decide car sales is not the future I want for myself. Queue the move.
My girlfriend wanted to move back to her hometown to be close to family. We’ve been together for over 8 years at this point, and she moved to my area 6 years ago for me so I felt like I owed it to her. She’s a fully remote employee so the move didn’t affect her career. I discovered during the move that opportunity in the area was extremely limited, especially for my background.
I’ve tried to no avail to get a remote role in both sales and my previous areas of focus. My current options are basically another dealership, retail, restaurant, or factory. All with either terrible hours, pay, benefits, or the whole buffet. There is a recent local industry apparently on the rise over the past decade that wasn’t present in my prior location which is oil and gas, which brings me to my latest disheartening blow.
—
My girlfriend’s father has been a plant operator for over 8 years at a local cryo processing plant and is considered one of their best operators. I had always found his descriptions of his career interesting but until now there was simply no present job market in my previous area. These guys make great money after a couple years, great life balance, benefits, advancement opportunity you name it. I’ve been applying to all related companies and have gotten nothing but auto decline emails.
Then it happens. There’s an opening at his plant! He personally refers me and an actual human looks at my resume. I research the industry for weeks, multiple mock interviews with her father, and paid out of pocket for relevant online course and certifications. I receive an invite to interview with the plant supervisor, plant manager, and their sole HR rep that handles duties for the entire plant.
Interview goes fantastic! I was well prepared, and could tell they were all very impressed with the certifications I obtained on my own. Let me know I should hear back in a few weeks. Obviously, with her father working there I was privileged to quicker feedback and status updates.
First update:
They tell him I blew them away and am the leading candidate.
2nd update:
They want to hire me but they are concerned that the only thing “keeping me in the area” is my girlfriend, and that I’ll just leave if our relationship fails. They say they wouldn’t have the concern if we were at least engaged. He then explains to them that we’ve been going strong for over 8 years, and that he wouldn’t be surprised if we were engaged within the year (think he had double motives there lol). They ask him if he’s willing to personally train and bring me up to speed. He agrees.
Update 3:
They pick me. Submit my information to corporate across the country so they can extend me an offer. Corporate comes back saying they can’t hire me due to a “potential” conflict of interest due to me dating my girlfriend’s father. He is not a manager, a supervisor, and my role would have shared his title.
I’m devastated. I’m pissed my time and money were wasted. I’m pissed that almost every employee there got their shot with no oil and gas experience but I can’t get mine. All my prior work experience is useless out here. I’m pissed I’m getting trained by a 19 year old at a hardware store right now for $19/hr and a long commute.
My girlfriend wants me to leave negative reviews but I don’t want her father to deal with blowback. Maybe after he retires next year. For now I simply don’t have the energy. To fight the decision, or to keep sending out applications. I’m going to end up a wage slave forever.
—
TLDR;
Lost out on a job offer because HR decided weeks after interviewing me that I’m a potential conflict of interest due to me dating another employee’s daughter.