Rant ahead. My first pregnancy was achieved after years of infertility treatments so I knew I wanted to spend some time with my baby. I read SIDS is higher in babies who go to daycare young so felt my comfort threshold was returning to work at 6m, and I really wanted it all- to work AND be a mother. I thought no problem, my employer will be happy to let me take the time off since they don’t even pay for any portion of maternity leave. They even had a policy in the handbook that childrearing leave beyond 3m of fmla was available in some cases. I frankly worked in a low traffic department where my true hours worked per week was close to 20, and that was with me creating new tasks for myself constantly because I can’t stand to sit around. The college was dead (Covid times) and I didn’t feel essential at all so was sure I would be granted my request, and surely enough, at 22w pregnant I was verbally told this would be fine.
At 30w, I was told that the childrearing leave policy in the handbook had never been used by anyone, “we didn’t even know it existed, and we’re not going to honor it.” Knowing my job was insecure in the first place, all i wanted was a guarantee I’d have a job in 6m. I explained, a part of my hesitancy to come right back in 3m is that because the college is failing I’m afraid my job won’t be secure then either? My boss was like yeah it might not be, but pleaaaaase come back after your unpaid 3m fmla.
And so like that I put in my resignation, enjoyed 3m with my baby, then took a PT job somewhere else. It wasn’t worth coming back in 3m for a job that didn’t even seem solvent. At my new job, I was Grateful not to feel like an insecure job was taking priority over me nourishing and caring for my young infant.
One year later, I am pregnant again. This job says I don’t qualify for fmla at all since I’m part time, but I can take up to 3m off unpaid. How generous, except that means no job guarantee. No worries though, my husband has just updated his credentials and starts to apply for better jobs so I can afford to be pt for perhaps another year. He gets like 5 offers at once and my focus is health insurance. I’m 27w pregnant and we make no money but have decent health insurance through his current job.
One by one he shoots down low paying jobs or jobs with bad insurance at my request, then he gets an offer with decent pay and good insurance and takes it. He asks the rates for the insurance right away, but they require him to accept the job first and based on what we know it looks good so o give him my blessing and he resigns his current job.
It takes his new job 2w to let him know our insurance would have 1200/m premium, 8k deductible, and then 70% coinsurance. So he has basically just taken a job that will no doubt mean it costs us 14,000 a year in premiums plus 8k minimum for me to give birth, let alone if other medical needs arise. The 15k raise isn’t a raise at all now. Now he’s having to beg his former employer to take him back, and I’m not sure if they will even give him the 2w unpaid paternity leave they would have if he hadnt resigned in the first place.
Did I mention we’re both in the field of mental health? By the way, go into mental health if you want employers who don’t value your own mental or physical health enough to offer affordable healthcare or time off to have kids (or retirement, I could go on.) every day I feel less and less willing to participate in 40hr workweek for an employer with such basic disregard for their employees, but I don’t want my kids to be the ones to pay so I’ll probably be back at it sooner than later. Just fuck these greedy assholes.