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Antiwork

Finally slowly reclaiming my life after over a decade of struggle

For context: I am swiss. My struggle is in all likelyhood not nearly as bad as many other people who post here. Normally, you complete an apprenticeship for the job you want to be doing for the first few years after school over here, so you'll be an apprentice around the age of 16-20. For me, it took almost a decade longer. My first job was horrible, and in a field I took more out of desperation than real motivation, since my original plan of computer technician didn't pan out (There weren't that many jobs to be had back in the day). I was basically treated like a glorified servant, doing more cleaning than the actual job. I knew I hated the job after 3 or 4 months, but the idea of quitting and being out of work terrified me. They had told us that you're supposed to finish your…


For context: I am swiss. My struggle is in all likelyhood not nearly as bad as many other people who post here.

Normally, you complete an apprenticeship for the job you want to be doing for the first few years after school over here, so you'll be an apprentice around the age of 16-20. For me, it took almost a decade longer. My first job was horrible, and in a field I took more out of desperation than real motivation, since my original plan of computer technician didn't pan out (There weren't that many jobs to be had back in the day).

I was basically treated like a glorified servant, doing more cleaning than the actual job. I knew I hated the job after 3 or 4 months, but the idea of quitting and being out of work terrified me. They had told us that you're supposed to finish your apprenticeship and then be a proper worker. The thought of having to send out hundreds of applications again was a nightmare. So for almost 2 years I slogged through it, from 16 to 18 years old, borderline sliding into depression. Eventually my parents caught on how miserable my job made me, and encouraged me to quit. I was between jobs for 2 years, deadset on getting an apprenticeship as a computer technician this time.

It took over 300 applications, numerous interviews. I got only a pittance from the state, since my pay as an apprentice was pitiful. In most cases I was told straight to my face that companies didn't want me because I was a “quitter”, because they were not confident I'd stick with a job. My parents are deeply in debt, so finances were a constant strain and struggle. I finally landed a job, the boss was awful, borderline abusive. But I soldiered on because I was so desperate to get my diploma for the one field I could imagine working in. In my 4th year, I came down with a health issue and had to interrupt the apprenticeship, and the company (Understandably, to a point) didn't want to hold onto me for a repeat of my final year.

Back to being between jobs, back to state programs that try to funnel you into a job. I was in them long enough that the people on them tried to get me off computer science, and onto anything else. I had to fight not to be forced to sign contracts I had no interest in working. Again I pumped out applications in the triple digits. If I could just find a place to complete my final year, I'd finally be a “normal” person. People got more and more judgy, told me I was a parasite and a leech. That I was mooching off them and everyone else.

When I finally got another job, and finished my diploma, it was for a workaholic company. I damn near became one myself, because at this point I was so desperate to stop being a “parasite” that I near worked myself to death. I even stuck around after my apprenticeship, because I wanted to make sure I had practical experience to show. A total of 4 years working overtime, being underpaid and underappreciated, and never quite being able to relax, because even during vacation and offdays I constantly got phonecalls.

I've quit, finally, at the start of this year. It was the first time in my life I felt like I decided something based on my own needs, and not some arbitrary standard to live up to. I've learned to say no and be critical of job offers. I've told people on the phone to fu*k off when they tried to lowball me or belittle me for my past. I now work in a job I consider adequatly compensated, and have enough of a spine to defend myself when the need arises.

If you want to take something away from this post: You're not a drone, or a robot. And people have no right to treat you like it. Respect yourself, defend yourself. Companies are not your friends, they're predators. They don't care for you, you gotta care for yourself.

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