I (37M) am done working and ready to die, but this will sadden my wife. I love her dearly.
I have two options I can see: 1) go back to working, which will kill me slowly or 2) kill myself, which would hurt my wife badly but be faster than option 1.
Background: I am immensely skilled and talented, but I don't want to put another dollar in the pocket of a sociopath and I'm willing to die on that hill, literally. I've had 20 jobs in my life, never fired. I can do the work of 3 people with a blindfold on. But I cannot exert myself on behalf of demons, and refuse to any more. In my experience, 95% of managers/leaders are human trash that couldn't manage a paper bag. They go out of their way to make life horrible for others, even when they don't have to.
I tried starting my own business – you still have to rub elbows with garbage people. The business world basically is a collection of garbage people all climbing on top of each other. And if you're not a rich kid and/or love networking with fucksticks, it is virtually impossible.
I've already tried getting mental health treatment – everyone I've talked to says there is no cure and no way to address hopelessness. Meds aren't coming close. The clock keeps ticking.
I've never lost confidence in myself, but I have lost all confidence in other human beings. I'm pushing myself to even post this, but I have hope in r/antiwork.
Any suggestions? Am I missing something? Thanks!