Hello, everyone. Long time lurker in need of a vent.
I’m in tech. Was laid off from a role (also in tech) I really liked last year in a mass layoff and found my current role. It seemed perfect at the time. Better pay than my last job, better title, great culture (so I thought lol), and amazing boss (who turned out to be a terrible person). Well, fast-forward to now, I’m coming up on my year mark.
Since January, they’ve been “stretching” me to step into a director-level position (currently a manager). Two weeks ago, my boss told me she talked to HR about what the raise will be that comes with the promotion. HR told her I’m not getting one and shouldn’t expect one for a while. (No one is getting a raise — not just me.)
Well, my boss is a corporate girl through and through. And seems to be fine with that answer and is still expecting me to step into this role. I plan on telling her, no reasonable raise, no promotion. (But I honestly think they’ll just be like 🤷️ you’re gonna do it anyway).
This place is SO insanely toxic. We’re remote. I’ve worked remotely since 2013 for various companies. Never have I been tracked the way they track us. They use software that tracks our productivity and lists us out into the most productive and least productive employees. They film our screens while we are working. They use Keylogging. The software even tracks our LinkedIn apparently to see when we are active on it. (Oh and they’ve told us NONE of this. No transparency. The only reason I know is because my friend works at Apple and helped locate the software because rumors have been swirling that they’re tracking us, so I looked into it). Additionally, every week, my boss has her team send her a detailed update of every single thing they’ve done. And if it seems like it’s not enough, you’re screwed.
They believe that if it only takes you 4-5 hours to get your work done for the day, you need to take on more. To quote my boss: “show initiative. There is never a shortage of work to be done.” It’s honestly killed my productivity because now, I purposely take twice as long to do things. And I hate that because I take pride in my work. I don’t like who I’ve become in this role.
I’m so so tired. Weekends are terrible because I’m anxious about Monday (and my boss works weekends—and during any PTO she takes—so it’s constant emails and new assignments being added to my plate). It’s just a gross, toxic, sickening place to work.
I’ve been applying for jobs like crazy. But, as many of you know, it’s hard out there. I have a chronic disease (IBD). I’m in a flare, and the work stress is making it so much worse. I feel like, as long as I’m here, I have no shot at reaching remission. The irony here is that my company provides great insurance (I still have to pay close to $300 a paycheck for it). I can’t just quit because I need good insurance to cover the meds I’m on and the routine labs and procedures I need done. It’s a vicious cycle. Anyway, not sure there’s a reason for this post. I just needed to vent to likeminded people.
My plan, while I wait for a new job, is to do the bare minimum to get by. And, if they deny me the raise I more than deserve, I plan on submitting my forms for FMLA leave next month. My doctor will absolutely have my back and my boss can’t do a damn thing about it. That will allow me to keep my insurance and I can use my short-term disability to get by for those few weeks.
It just sucks that I have to take these measures. I feel so jaded and cynical. I dread starting a new job because I feel like it’ll just be a different version of hell. But I dread the thought of staying in my current role even more.
Where’s a trust fund when you need one?