I’m sick and tired of the administration carousel. You start to get ignored and frozen out at work even though you work quickly and efficiently, and the next thing you know you’re handed a box and a letter and told to pack your shit.
I recently got a full-time senior admin job with a company that loves trumpeting that it’s one of the 50 best managed companies in Canada according to the Conrad Black-owned media conglomerate. I was immediately set to work on digitizing HR files with a glimpse of hope for more diverse tasks once my boss had finished the major project she was in the middle of doing when I was hired.
I settled down to work and found that it was a revolving door there. People quitting and getting fired almost every week or two. My boss became frosty as hell a few weeks in. Nobody assigned me other work – all the work went to the admin below me and I had to keep relieving her. I got the flu two weeks in and when I returned after three missed days, I was hauled into HR for upbraidment.
So I went into counselling with a therapist who specializes in work difficulty. I told her that with my history of abusive bosses, this place was scaring me with my boss avoiding me and no work or training headed my way. $125 per session to have her try and shh-shh soothe me and give me homework to do to make my boss notice me just to walk in on Thursday confronted with a box and a letter.
They’d hired me on a perm basis but only wanted me temp. They got rid of me just before my probation was up. I was in it for the benefits which were due to kick in any day because my medication costs $300/month. Now I have to half my daily meds to afford them. I have to give up my apartment and move in with my mother at 37. I have a divorce from my abusive spouse to pay for, too, which is no obviously on the back burner.
So here I am doing gig work again and sobbing my eyes out because I can’t get off this train of being lied to by an employer and dragged for a month or two then gone. I’m struggling with suicidal ideation again because I’m never allowed to get ahead. Why? What do I need to do?