My (35F) husband (40M) has been working the last 1.5 years at a fast food restaurant. We are in Michigan.
Originally it was local (less than 10 miles away), but he got transferred to a new store a town over (about 25 miles away). He was told that this transfer was a “test run” to see if he and his co-worker (23M) could run this store. So his co-worker gets promoted to general manager and gets not only the title, but a substantial raise. My husband has been the acting assistant GM and has not gotten a raise or updated title. He has been at this new store for 7 months. His co-worker, the now GM, is an idiot who should not be in charge. My husband is also expected to text and take calls even during his personal time (and sometimes his co-workers will do this at more inappropriate times like 1am or 5am). He also frequently has to leave early for work so he can run errands for the job before he gets there (so this time is obviously unpaid).
My husband has taken a paycut for this opportunity (more than double the commute, all under heavy construction, so time, gas, maintenance, and risk of accident all go way up).
It has been 7 months! He has brought it up several times, but his GM keeps telling him that he needs “something to show to the higher ups.” Basically he is saying my husband has to prove his worth, when he has been busting his ass. He works 10-12 hour shifts, is the go-to for everything, he trains the employees, often times they make him close (so he gets home at 12am) then schedule him at 6am the next day to throw the truck, and then work a whole shift. Unfortunately, there are no work break laws in MI to prevent this stuff from happening.
The owner of the franchise has praised my husband time and time again, but this means nothing to management, apparently. Things keep changing, his schedule is impossible to keep up with as it fluctuates so much, and it is killing our relationship.
He is always tired, so on our days off, we don't do anything besides veg on the couch. We have a pretty non-existent sex life. We fight all the time about the extra unpaid work he does. And we share a car (I work remotely), so with his schedule being now so inconsistent, it has made my life very difficult. I have health issues and have routine doctor appointments, on top of spontaneous ones. I am constantly having to move my appointments around to accommodate his work schedule, and it's becoming a problem.
His job pays shit. He has garbage health insurance that nobody takes and literally has no website to get information from. We are not legally married, so I can't add him to my health insurance. He is always stressed and exhausted, so communication and intimacy have gone out the window.
My husband is convinced he can only get a job in a restaurant, as all of his 25 years of work experience has been as a cook or a manager. He doesn't have a degree and is technologically inept (I am extremely tech savvy and have really tried to help him here but with no luck). I have told him to try call centers (many are remote now, he is very pleasant and patient, and they pay much more than he is making). There's also several factories and plants that are always hiring that are within 5 miles of where we live. I've spent hours surfing through employment websites and given him lists of available jobs, and he doesn't even look at them.
I can tell he is embarrassed about his current position, and feels completely defeated that he keeps trying so hard and is not getting any recognition, especially at 40. I feel defeated because I can't convince him to find something better.
My tech job pays okay, but it may not exist in a year. I do not have a degree either, so my experience may get overlooked. And my deteriorating health makes me worry how much longer I can continue working anyway.
We want a house (or at least a bigger place), we want to travel, we want to save for retirement, etc.
What do I do here? Do I keep encouraging him to move on? Do I let him keep at it and hope he finally gets that raise? Do I let him keep at it and just be there for him when it all comes crashing down? How can I help him realize his value is more than just working in a kitchen, and that he needs to stand up for himself?