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Antiwork

I already hate my new job, and I haven’t even started yet.

I'm so fucking pissed, I don't even know where to begin. I guess I'll start with how I got the job: good ol' nepotism. I have an idiot family member who volunteered me for a job vacancy at the same stupid place he works without my permission. He told my parents, and they bullied me into sending my résumé and contact information. I repeatedly said I had no interest in working there, but I was pestered until I gave in. Immediately after sending the email with my information, I was told to meet some guy for an interview. That surprised me because I've been applying for jobs, and NONE of those companies contacted me within literal minutes after applying. This struck me as a potential red flag. I go in for the interview, not even knowing what the fuck the job is, thinking I probably won't get hired because my…


I'm so fucking pissed, I don't even know where to begin. I guess I'll start with how I got the job: good ol' nepotism. I have an idiot family member who volunteered me for a job vacancy at the same stupid place he works without my permission. He told my parents, and they bullied me into sending my résumé and contact information. I repeatedly said I had no interest in working there, but I was pestered until I gave in. Immediately after sending the email with my information, I was told to meet some guy for an interview. That surprised me because I've been applying for jobs, and NONE of those companies contacted me within literal minutes after applying. This struck me as a potential red flag. I go in for the interview, not even knowing what the fuck the job is, thinking I probably won't get hired because my résumé is both underwhelming and oddly specific. Well, turns out what I was told would be an interview was actually training for my new job. I was in for an even bigger unpleasant surprise when the HR guy walked in and mentioned my job title in passing. Let me tell you, I am wholly unqualified for this position. I don't have any of the necessary credentials or experience to carry out this job, unless you count half-assed personal experience. I had no fucking clue what to do because the training I was given and the job title were not what I was expecting. The training made everything seem straightforward, and I could definitely carry out those particular responsibilities, but the official job title is definitely not something I can or am willing to do. I ended up awkwardly agreeing to start work the following week after being assured that my job duties “are exactly what you were just trained for.” I was also feeling a lot of pressure from my dumbass family members to take the job.

Now we move on to the mess that is HR. Like most jobs, there's an onboarding process for new hires. For this particular company, there's a folder full of paperwork to complete, as well as multiple medical and background checks. You get the privilege of paying for most of these things. I'm broke, so this pisses me off, but whatever, fine, I'll go through the motions because I need a job, and I've had absolute shit luck so far with getting into a decent company. One of the medical checks was so fucking expensive compared to how much I thought I'd have to pay, the nurse told me to double check with HR that I'm the one paying. Thanks to an unresponsive HR department and a bout of bad weather, my start date got delayed. Once I finally got all the HR shit together, I went in to drop it off. I left with more HR forms to fill out, only these were electronic. They were otherwise exactly the same as what I'd just turned in. How fucking delightful. I complete those, too, expecting to get an email after I'm done telling me when to come in for my first day on the job. I don't. I email HR asking when I'm supposed to show up, but it's late, and I never get a reply. As a result, I don't go to the building, and I get a call from my very confused supervisor. I explain that I wasn't told if or when to show up, so I didn't. He seems to understand that there was miscommunication, and tells me to come in the next day. Which is tomorrow. I'm fucking exhausted from dealing with the drawn-out onboarding bullshit and the astounding lack of communication, and I'm not looking forward to starting this job. I'm really fucking worried about whether I'll be able to do this job, and how it'll reflect on me if I can't. I'm already thinking/daydreaming about quitting. I hate my family.

Oh, and I was sent more HR garbage to complete. And yes, 90% of it is the same as what I completed before. Twice.

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