I am not suicidal.
I work ten hour shifts at a job that makes me miserable so that I can afford rent. I spend hours commuting/showering/force feeding myself so I can get to work.
With my remaining few hours before it starts again, I then I get home to roommates that I hate. I lock myself in my room and stare at the ceiling wishing I didn’t have to go back tomorrow.
I am not suicidal.
I could get a significant other, but would I have time or energy to spend with them? Would they have the exact same work schedule as me?
I don’t own a passport because I only get two weeks off in a whole year. I’d like to spend that time doing nothing but resting.
I am not suicidal, but just logically, can someone explain to me how this is living? How is this loop of misery better than just passing away?
I’m actively working on bettering my life, but it’s going to take years. Years of being more tired, just so that eventually my life will be somewhat tolerable?
I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t ask to be born. I never made any life changing mistakes. This is just what I was born into and everyone seems to be okay with it?
I’m not suicidal, but I’m not happy enough to live like this forever.