I'm tired of 12 hours days building sunroofs for 200 thousand dollar cars and getting shit pay for it.
I've saved. I live very cheaply in an impoverished area with very very cheap rent.
I just realized that I'd rather be writing screenplays and finishing editing my novel. That's what make me feel alive.
Last week my boss said that this is the best career opportunity in the area. I thought by the time I'm his age robots will be doing all this shit…even his job. In that moment I took a big step back from myself.
Sadarta became the Buddha when he recalled a memory watching ants doing ant stuff. Today I got outta bed after watching my ceiling for awhile and watched some ants on my patio eating a loose french fry.
I realized that out of all the times I'd watch ants that was the first time I connected with ants, considered myself apart of them as they are living things of me, and my ego didn't chime in to argue it's place above them.
Then I imagined the universe and though about Earth being an ant in proportion. My ego didn't knock on the door of existential fear.
Then I was back in my body. I just said “I'm apart of this thing. Maybe that's how he felt.” to the ants.
Now I'm gonna finish my book and probably not sell 10 copies for free. Regardless of what the future brings it's writing that makes me a happy ant. If I can write for a year on what I've saved. It'll be more than worth it.