Growing up, I loved going to school and learning. It was easy for me and I'd put in effort when I got inspired for my projects or my homework. It was easy to get inspired, new ideas were always being brought up and concepts were discussed and broken down. Tasks were clear and outlined for you to understand what you'd be expected to bring in. There was enough down time when learning that you weren't burnt out from always having to perform, either. I went to Uni and I loved it – never had a more fulfilling educational experience and desperately wish I could go back but then I entered the workforce. I have never held a job for more than a year – probably no more than 9 months? I either quit due to exploitation by poor management or I get fired for being on my phone too much. I loathe busy work – cleaning the same 6 tables in an empty coffee shop multiple times a day just because we need to look like we're not lazy? What a bunch of bullshit. But there is no other option for me. It's work work work until you die since my generation has no retirement fund to look forward to. I was never meant to be a cog in a machine, my brain doesn't work that way – I'm not so neurotic that I look for things to do when no customers are in line, I don't go the extra mile to show my company what they mean to me, I don't think of work that needs to be done unless there's a written list in my face I can check off every day. Because I'm like this it feels hopeless to me. I feel like I'm not meant for this world and will find myself on the street eventually. I'm not mean, I don't curse out my coworkers or talk behind their back, I show up on time and learn my job function but I just don't care. It's not my shop, I'm just the one in the front giving you your drink and waving you off. I try my best but shit if it isn't always my need to check my phone every 30 or so minutes that will get me sent home then it's because I didn't clean the crumbs off the counters as often as I was expected. I hate it here – I wish we invented to make our lives easier and not make employers richer.