i’m 20f, been in college since i was 16. got an certificate of general studies because i changed my major so much, i was only in college because my folks said i had to be. i didn’t know what i really wanted to do, and i still have no idea. now i’m still living at home making $15/hr as a warranty clerk— not a bad job at all and my boss is even my aunt. she’s not lenient with me (because of potential nepotism), but she is the only person i really talk to at the car dealership.
i have really bad depression, anxiety, and i have borderline personality disorder. walking in every day fills me with so much dread, i try to force myself to get through it each day just to see my paycheck. but i can feel my mental health declining with each day.
i just want a job where i can live on my own comfortably, but i have no clue what to do. i get anxiety just leaving my house, my poor boyfriend hasn’t been seeing me lately because i feel like everybody hates me so i hide away, im just about ready to end it all. i tried when i was 15, and i think im going to try again.
what am i supposed to do in life with no passion, skills, or any motivation? the world will still go on without me, and it wouldn’t even make the slightest dent in the universe.
on top of that, the cops were at my house 2 nights in a row because my family found out that my uncle had been grooming me, among other things, since i was ~16. i don’t feel comfortable at home at all, and i can’t afford to move out. i’m just done.