After i quit my previous job, i just couldn't mentally endure having a job anymore. I'm 29 now and for all my adult life i have not been able to work due to severe depression and social anxiety, i had several diagnoses and treatment attempts during the last decade, all pretty much unsuccesful until now.
In all this time i basically relied on my family and the savings my Grandma had for me. 6 years ago i met my wife, we married a year later and she moved to my country to work here, we moved in together as well. I've been a stay at home husband ever since. She doesn't mind that i don't work, i take care of our cats and the household. She's very understanding and supports me, which i really appreciate. But i can't help feeling guilty that i'm not contributing and we've always been a bit tight with money ever since because i have no income.
A few months ago i once again started taking medication and it works fairly well now, i feel alright. I think i could technically work and manage to keep a job now, but i'm still insanely scared of failing and especially scared of all the bad experiences i read online.
I've tried applying for jobs in the last 10 years all the time, just never worked out. Either i just didn't show up for interviews because of severe panic attacks, or i actually managed to land a job only to not show up to my first day for the same reasons. This little circus probably happened more than 20 times or so cause i just kept trying and trying when i should instead have tried much more to fix up myself first.
Anyway, i just felt like i needed to vent and i hope when i try again soon it would be better for me.
Wondering if any of you maybe have the same experiences being out of work for so long?