The last dead end job I held was back in 2011 at age 22 when I worked at Walmart for $8.10 an hour, an amount supplemented by pizza parties and threats to take away bonuses that never materialized no matter how hard we worked. I was told I should be grateful because most employees only made $7.50. I made just enough to live in a tent in the woods nearby and eventually joined the army where I served for a total of precisely five years, eventually getting disability for getting injured.
Yeah, the injuries suck and some days I'm barely able to get out of bed, but I'll tell you what I don't miss:
- Losing my youth
- Standing on my feet all day and returning to my tent with back and foot pain from age 14 to 22 because sitting in a chair or taking breaks is illegal since the customer might think I'm a lazy employee
- Getting bare minimum wage and being able to afford nothing
- Quitting because I feel helpless and then being told I need to get a job because I'm worthless
- Being told I'm worthless because I can't get a better job
- Being told I'm worthless because I work at [nightmare land]
- Being told I just need to pay $300,000 for a degree if I want the smallest promotion
- Returning home and trying to finish a pile of books because I had once enjoyed reading, but I can't find the energy
- Staring at the wall from an old chair, while sitting next to a pile of books I can't even look at
- fearing having to be back to work at 5 am in eight hours
- Being tired and depressed 24/7 for no reason at all
- Knowing that I don't have enough food to make it until my next check
- Knowing that if I steal the meat they throw in the trash, I could be charged if I'm caught
- juggling rent/utilities/food and owning nothing else
- having a list of simple dreams I can never complete, things like going fishing
- Paying an outrageous sum of money for a horrible apartment in the middle of a suburban hellscape
- Hearing gunshots and sirens
- learning someone got shot last night
- dreading the day my drug addict roommate eventually stops showing up to pay rent, and the day he finally did
- Dreaming of owning my own small farm, something my parents could have done on a part time budget at McDonald's in the 60s
- Knowing my parents could have bought prime real estate somewhere insane like South Florida or SoCal and even now, with money, I'll probably never see something that nice
- Going to a friend's to sit together and stare at the wall
- Chain smoking and drinking my health away all the time because I can't afford happy pills to at least drown the pain
- Knowing I'll never get full health coverage and if I do, the majority of my monthly pay is going to the premium
- Knowing I'll never be allowed to retire, and when I'm all used up, all my money will be gone without a drop in my savings account because raises are for ungrateful, lazy workers
- Being told to just work harder if I wanted a savings account
- Being told to “just save money!””
- Being told to “just get a second job!”
- Being told to “just stand out in front of a bank with a bagged lunch and a secondhand Brooks Brother's suit until they see that I'm willing to be bank manager, and give you that job when they realize how motivated you are, kid! Now please leave, your stepfather and I are busy scheming up ways to rip you off again.”
- Knowing my parents didn't have to do any of these things
I am in a better position than a lot of people my age, and in a way better position than those younger than me, and in a way, way better position than my parents and my friend's parents, but it's still rough out there and most of my friends are still losing sleep, dreaming of a better life.
I go to my local diner where they play CNN or FOX 24/7 and hear some lazy Boomer whining about how us worthless MIllennials won't serve them their burgers, followed by them complaining that we want $15 an hour and how, despite the Pax Americana proving otherwise and the fact that minimum wage should be closer to $30 an hour, it'll destroy the US, a country in rapid decline regardless. I hear them saying the best job application is “get off your daggum butt.”, and I hear fear in their voices. I'm not even left leaning or liberal, but I love letting them know I'm a socialist and any way I can, help all the gen Y and Z get access to our tax dollars that Boomers believe are theirs, a bunch of retired losers.
I'm happy to see so many young people saying, “I can't even afford to be homeless, so why even work?”, and apply for unemployment, and it makes me happy that it's the one place we can put politics aside and rally. Bring up any other subject and we're at each other's throats, but throw a Boomer in the mix and we're like an organized pack of piranhas tearing apart a cow. I haven't worked a “real job” in six years, and I will never go back, but shaking the feeling of having to be somewhere has never gone away, and it doesn't fade away in time.