Just gave my notice after being in a shitty position for 6 months (toxic environment, bad pay, bad hours, nothing but menial tasks, etc.). Instead of going off on the employer, I decided on the diplomatic route and give the “this new position seems like a better fit” route (i.e. pays 40% better and has normal hours).
My boss did the standard what can we do to keep you? BS, offered to increase my salary (still would have been 30% lower), change my schedule, gave me the line about how there's “no way we can manage without you, you're leaving us in a bad spot.”
Stood firm and polite and simply said, “I'm sorry I've already made a commitment to this new company.”
Boss immediately flipped the switch, and started telling me “I thought you were a bad fit for us from the start,” “You were my second choice when we hired you,” “You leaving is probably good for our culture.” I just nodded and walked out; funny how I was a super valuable resource moments ago.
At first I was pissed, but now I'm just laughing at the situation that basically boils down to “You can't break up with me, cause I'm breaking up with you! I never even liked you!”