I just don't see the point anymore. I did what they told me. I went to school. Averaged a 3.8gpa. I went to college and maintained a 3.9 for 2 dofferent associates degrees. I spent 3 years with litteral hands on learning CNC machining and programming basically working at a full functioning machine shop at the college and these mother fucking suits keep telling me that's not real experience. And they are looking for someone with experience.
Im at 2.5 years at my current job. No bonuses, no cost of living adjustments, and I keep requesting my yearly review and it's being blatantly ignored. I'm making the same wage as when I started. It's a skilled trade and I can't afford to live anywhere in the entire fucking state with the wage I'm being paid.
I see no hope for my future. I have non. I'm neurodivergent. I struggle hard with my ADHD and anxiety and it's never going to change. I am the way I am for the rest of my life.
But these companies want people that can work at a million mph and do gods quality work. And I simply can't do that.
There's no hope for me. My parents probably have about 10 years left before they pass. I won't be able to afford the Inheritance tax on anything they leave me so I think I'm just going to kill myself.
I'm done giving this country and this fucking system my only life. If all I can do is take my life to keep it from being used, abused and tossed away then I'll take that only win.
I'm done.
There's no hope.
I'll never live the life my parents lived. They are your typical capitalist boomers with the fuck you got mine attitude. My dad makes 300k a year sitting on his ass dispatching truck freight after his company went under back in 08. Meanwhile I'm coming home at the end of 10 hour days in pain making 1/10th what he makes. Being on my feet is fucking up my feet and I recently had to have my entire large toe nail removed due to severe ingrown infection and I was harassed AND guilted every day by my coworkers and bosses until I came in AGAINST DOCTORS ORDERS TO REMAIN HOME AND OFF FEET FOR A WEEK.
We are nothing but slaves with new titles.
This isn't the dream. This is a nightmare.
I want to be free of this.