I’ve since moved on and found a much better position. This has contributed to feelings of confusion about the situation.
I used to work in healthcare and at the beginning of this year, decided a change of scenery might be a good idea. I was nearing the end of nursing school and wanted to explore other areas outside of the ICU.
Labor and delivery sounded like a good fit. I’d had a good experience in clinicals and the L&D unit at my hospital happened to be hiring for my position with what was advertised as a compatible work schedule (which turned out to be a lie).
I said goodbye to ICU and took the position.
Things started smoothly enough. The job itself wasn’t difficult but could be demanding. That part didn’t bother me.
I’ve always said that the social hierarchies of nursing were the most challenging for me to navigate, and this experience heightened that belief.
My first night working, this coworker asked me about my sex life. Straight up asked me how regularly my partner and I have sex and who takes on the “dominant” role. I was a bit floored. I didn’t share any of those details with her because what the fuck. Why would anyone (besides my current partner) benefit from that information?
I avoided answering and she proceeded to tell me about another woman on our unit and how many of the other nurses she’d slept with. I did my best to ignore this. (Yes, I know I should have gone to HR, but it was a she-said, she-said situation and this employee had 12 years of service behind her.)
I continued to train with this employee for most nights out of my training schedule. She tried to use a combination of her past experience as a pharmacy tech and current experience as a secretary to authorize when I could or shouldn’t inform a nurse of a patient’s status. I ignored her and did what I knew would be in the best interest of the patient. (Ex: A patient decel’d and she told me “not to worry about it.” I informed the nurse of this and my trainer told me I needed to stay out of it, the patient was “most likely fine.” Yikes.)
I somehow put up with her for six weeks. I’m not saying I was perfect, but just about anyone who worked with me could likely attest to my obnoxiously careful behavior. I tend to be pretty reserved (some might say shy) and don’t necessarily interact a lot with my coworkers, at least not in an overly familial sense. (This woman demanded I call her “mom” after ten seconds of conversation.)
Toward the end of my training, she alleged that I called a patient “stupid, whiny, dumb.” To their face. Nobody else heard this interaction, but she wrote it down and gave the feedback to my manager. My manager didn’t even think to ask me about it, rather, had HR sit in a meeting and go review my “behavior.”
This was the first time I’d ever been formally referred to HR for behavior-related issues. And it was based on a complete lie.
Things didn’t go well after. I injured my arm and had to take out FMLA. My manager demanded my return to work status and threatened my job if I didn’t give a date to return. I took the L and decided to leave for another job.
Despite my current job, which is a better fit for me, I still feel angry. If I want to return to this employer in the future, I likely won’t be cleared to.
I guess I just needed a place to vent and ask for advice. Has anyone gone through something similar?