My boss was always good to me, offering financial help when needed, flexibility. Good relationship. Close friends really.
Then I was diagnosed with ADHD and before we even have a conversation about that, he tells me my “obsession” with this ADHD is being disruptive. It turned into verbal abuse, shouting, screaming and threats within… 30 seconds? I didn't get a word in until about 15 minutes in, after I had sobbed and begged. Terms used include (butt not limited to) :-
- “It's not cancer”
- “Up until a few weeks ago, you were fine and now you're like this?”
- “SIT DOWN, NO! SIT DOWN NOW! DON'T YOU DARE! NO, DON'T YOU DARE WALK AWAY” – This after denying every explanation and bit of information I could think of about ADHD to try and reframe his shouting.
- “This self-diagnosed, or whatever it is you got, thing of yours” – This being the private diagnosis I asked him for help paying for.
This after a morning of feeling great with getting jobs done. I had also spent half the morning praising my workplace, and my boss in particular, for helping me out when I struggled so much over the years.
I know I am disruptive, but I was trying and lots of people had asked about my new working habits with genuine curiosity. In response I got actual abuse from my boss because it's distracting and he couldn't wait 5 seconds for me to collect my thoughts.
I was also in tears, a grown man, banging my head on the table begging him to stop. He found my suffering cute or something weird, almost like I was a struggling puppy? He ground me down until we came to some bullshit forced resolution where he would try and not assume I'm fucking up on purpose and I will be less ADHD?
I don't know. This was someone I shared secrets with, until yesterday I would have done literally anything for him.
In 6 hours I am fixing a problem I caused (due to him disrupting my workflow) and sending in my resignation immediately after, with immediate effect. I am doing this one last thing as it is for a client of ours that when I called them in tears about this mistake earlier, offered soothing and solutions to make it better. He gets my help.
I was begging him to stop. My boss doesn't get that same courtesy.
There are other complications at play (not my problem, theirs) which I can't discuss without doxxing myself, but I will be speaking to a solicitor tomorrow. 24 hours ago I would have given this man anything. What an idiot I am.
I'm free in the morning. I have no plan of what to do next.