I have been at my job for nearly three years now. I also worked here previously in a different department for three years. There was about a two year gap in between.
The woman that trained me was not my boss when she trained me, but she is now. Our manager retired and she was promoted. Ever since I started, I could tell she had a bit of a crush on me. I am also a woman. I was previously married to a woman. She is aware of this. She made comments about how we were working wives and this and that and those comments were pretty harmless at first. Within the last year, the comments started to get more…sexual. She would call me sexy and said that she would “do me” when I spoke of a former friend who had basically called me overweight. There have been other comments made that are basically sexual harassment. Other girls in the office made me aware that she had told them that her husband has some sort of kink where he wants to see his wife with some other woman. Once I heard that, everything kind of clicked and I stopped being so friendly and close with her. I'm not gonna lie, it kind of hurt to lose someone I thought was a friend, but what she was doing was inappropriate. Other coworkers have also commented on things she said and have agreed that lines were crossed.
I did not go to upper management about this. My staying away from her unless I had to talk to her was working. And I did not want to start an investigation and have them find nothing, as I had no proof. These were verbal remarks. I just wanted it to go away.
She started treating me differently when we stopped being so close. I can understand that. She chose another woman to get close to and now they're bff's. Fine. Whatever. She can go be creepy with other people. As long as it isn't me.
I started noticing things shifting even more when I won a contest at work. I work in sales and I sold the most items and was to be awarded a trip to a conference that dealt with our field of work. Well, I am nearly 29 weeks pregnant and am not going to be getting on an airplane any time soon. Plus, she would be the only other person going. I declined the trip. She pulled me aside and basically told me that they'd have to get back with me regarding what I would now win since I couldn't go. I quote, “We'll find something to do for you.” Okay, cool, whatever. They come back with,” There's another conference in March. We can go to that one.” I declined that, as I would have a four month old I planned on breastfeeding. At this point, I declined both trips and was completely aware and 100% understanding that no more accomodations would be made for me. No big deal. I was told that was it and those were my only options. I verbalized understanding.
At this point, I asked my coworker who sold just under what I sold if they would take her instead. She said they told her no, as well, and that the contest would just restart next year. Okay, that sucks for the next person, but whatever. Nobody gets anything.
A few weeks go by. All of a sudden other coworker is scheduled to now go on the trip. Nobody even tells me. I just hear them talking about it. I get it. I declined. Twice! I was, however, upset that upper management wouldn't reconsider something small for me, but would reconsider sending other coworker when it was originally stated no one else could go.
I start to keep to myself even more. All of a sudden the coworker who commiserated with me regarding the weird comments my manager gave is now buddying up with said manager. I expected that somewhat. It's office politics. You gotta play the game. It's just the inconsistency in her behavior that's frustrating. Pick a side.
More time goes by and last Thursday happens. There was an order of mine that my coworker dealt with. Someone came to pick up the order but she was apparently not aware it was a warranty order and did not get the defective product back even though the papers stated it was a warranty. We are now being charged for the new product since the manufacturer has nothing to credit us with. I was blamed for this. We had a whole meeting about it after work. It was ridiculous. The manager had a bad attitude about everything. Started asking everyone where they wanted notes to be placed on the order sheet (I said where I put the notes because that's how she trained me to do it). Apparently that's not how she trained me. Insert eye roll here. I've been doing it the same way the entire time I've worked here. The coworker who fucked it up said she doesn't care where notes about orders go on paperwork now that she knows where I put them. They're where I've always put them.
So we can have a meeting about that, but not about how my coworker, just that morning, had an incident where someone came in and said his product was not working. She checked it, said it was wrong, said we would remake it, and sent him on his way. Then she began going through invoices, trying to figure out who did it, I assume. That's when manager stepped in and looked and said, “There's nothing wrong with this. It was made correctly.” So we had to have the person come back and it was just unprofessional and embarrassing.
We can have a meeting about the warranty, but not about how one other coworker doesn't know how to properly sell to people. Or fill out paperwork correctly. When I come across things that have been half done or half filled out, I just do it. I do it because I thought we were a team and I can finish writing up an order or I can finish up an order for someone. Because teamwork.
Not anymore.
Came in this morning and a few sheet for an order was on my box with a note that said to fix the numbers. I wrote back, “This is not mine.” And put it back in her box. I'm not fixing anyone else's shit anymore. I'm waiting for her to say something about it.
I know this was a lot and all over the place. Idk if I'm wanting advice or just venting. I'm currently the breadwinner in my relationship. My husband is looking for a job and as soon as he finds one, I'm out. I'm ready to take a turn being the stay at home parent.
Thoughts? Comments? Commiseration?