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Need help

I'm not sure where to start so I will do my best to lay this out clearly. Have had nothing but issues with employer since starting. I work as the Director of Marketing for a small tech based business. While they love my work and tell me all the time how much so, I am constantly wrangled into meetings about “my behavior” followed by a forced, “we really love your work” praise session after. It feels akin to them trying to teach a dog how to be house trained to be honest. I had another one today about how I left my desk too early at 4:59, walked from top floor to bottom and was “caught” standing next to the time clock out machine waiting to clock out somewhere in that 60 seconds. Something other employees also do but was explained to me that, “no one but you does this”.…


I'm not sure where to start so I will do my best to lay this out clearly. Have had nothing but issues with employer since starting. I work as the Director of Marketing for a small tech based business. While they love my work and tell me all the time how much so, I am constantly wrangled into meetings about “my behavior” followed by a forced, “we really love your work” praise session after. It feels akin to them trying to teach a dog how to be house trained to be honest. I had another one today about how I left my desk too early at 4:59, walked from top floor to bottom and was “caught” standing next to the time clock out machine waiting to clock out somewhere in that 60 seconds. Something other employees also do but was explained to me that, “no one but you does this”. I naturally said that is not actually the case but I'm also not throwing other employees under the bus. Another meeting for when my wife dropped a coffee off and I grabbed it and came back in (a 20 second ordeal). I was moved from salary last week to hourly so they did not have to pay me for any time i may miss in a week. During the meeting they said, “we switched you because we couldn't afford to pay you for days you are not here anymore.” “It seems like with the things you have going on at home that needing time off may be baked into it for you” (Another way of saying you have a family,and a family member (my son) who has a medical condition you care for. We dont want to say were discriminating against you so we'll use roundabout language and say its “all baked in”).

I was out for covid something our COO brought into the building and infected everyone with. They are still upset. They felt they had to pay me while I was out and that I continued to test positive even after the normal quarantine days (I was asking to come back). They docked me a day of pay off my salary a couple weeks ago when i had to take a day off for my son. When these meetings take place they will constantly reference my wife and children and use them as pain points to coerce me to comply or be fired. “what would your wife think if you got fired?””i'm pretty sure your family likes that you are able to provide for them..”. My wife continually gets brought up by the president, also a woman when disciplining me during these meetings. “Isn't she just a stay at home mom why can't she do everything child related, you're at work”. In reference to the time my son, who was born with a congenital condition was having serious issues throughout the night into the morning and i had to call out to bring him to see a doctor and wanted to be there for him. When I was first hired my daughter was exposed to covid and I had to quarantine as well which i was paid for. So don't get me wrong, I understand their side completely as an operating business with employees, overhead, people to pay , etc, but I think there are certain things at play here that do not make sense and are inappropriate/illegal?

Like when I signed my employee handbook there's a section on a page about being unable to talk about wage/compensation with other co-workers and how it is forbidden, even though I'm fairly sure that's against the law. The entire place operates and runs like a good ole boy style business. With the c-suite “club” always laughing it up in the boardroom. Saying wild things like pretending to run lines of coke or making insane jokes or comments that would not fly in any work environment, with the head HR/CFO just rolling her eyes and saying nothing when it happens. I was asked my political affiliation today in that same meeting, (they are right wing). Because they needed to understand the political affiliations of their demographics and wanted to know mine to see if I knew how to think like our customers and if I had more insight then they did. I was also made to sign a written warning today for the 1 minute stand off at the clock out machine today to be put in my file signed and dated. Again this isn't everything but a short kinda list of some of the stuff happening.

Just for some reference my boss( The president) officially joined the company like a week or two before i did and made herself president. Her husband started the business but ran into health issues at this stage in his life so she stepped in having never run one and seemingly like she doesn't really know what's going on, She uses it more like a personal clubhouse then anything. I can't tell if I'm just overreacting or what and naturally my wife is furious that she keeps being brought up in conversations during a discipline meeting as a talking point. My wife has told me that its sex discrimination for saying, “Isn't she just a stay at home mom why cant she do everything child related”. Based on the supervisor's perception that women, not men, are appropriate caregivers. Like I said I don't really know at this point but every day here they are constantly grinding me down yet praising me to not let it fully grind me down. I was told ” we are trying to save you” if you didn't do as good of work as you do you would have been already fired,…They are desperate to keep me here cause they know what im giving them but are constantly trying to “break me” mentally to fall under there heel and be subservient in every way. Like i said idk if im just complaining or if there are some relevant issues i can address here. Coming to work everyday now feels meaningless and grinding. Yet I'm being praised for what I'm providing them that they couldn't do on their own…

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