Just need to rant a little I'm sorry.
I'm currently at work now on the shitter bracing for the full day ahead.
I'm an autopsy technician, I work for the government, and haven't had a day off in six months. We're supposed to have two teams of 4 techs, and one photographer so that each team can alternate weeks of having four days off, then working a full 7 days. Not a bad schedule imo, but we have only 4 techs and one photographer and the two techs are fairly new, and we haven't been able to effectively train them to cut yet as the caseload is high (our office services half of our state) and taking the time to do so only puts us back farther than we already are. It has gotten so bad that me and my lead tech have threatened to quit from pure exhaustion but they prevented that by raising our wages (from 16/hr to 22/hr, which was absolutely crazy to me how easily they just gave us that).
I am grateful that I am able to make enough money to afford house payments, food, insurance and all that jazz enough so that my fiancee doesn't have to work (we have two kids, her value as a SAHM is priceless to both her and me) but man am I getting extremely burnt out. Prior to the other team suddenly deciding to quit together I was able to go home leaving work at work but now it's imbedded in every waking hour of my life. I even feel bad going home and seeing my kids after having autopsied babies and toddlers who died in sometimes the worst ways imaginable.
I do love my job. I love playing a valuable role in my community and state doing a job that is 1000% necessary to the functioning of society and the closure of families who've lost a loved one. I think that's what keeps me going as egotistical as it sounds, feeling important. I also feel though that if I decided to quit I'm not only hurting my family by losing income, but other families by delaying how quickly they're going to receive autopsy reports and by proxy life insurance, closure of why their loved one passed, etc.. I just feel a lot of weight on my shoulders and had to get this off my chest. Thank you .