This is longer than I expected do I'll try to add a tldr at the bottom.
So, I've been working at this place for over a month. It's one of the most toxic places I've ever worked at. My mental health has suffered & finding a job while working long hours is incredibly difficult. I got sick for the first time in 3 years not long after I started because someone didnt mask (“it was just the sniffles”) & my cough isn't going away (just the sniffles for someone else is a cough that only a steroid puffer can heal for me). The place has been hell, the computers were so incredibly slow that it would take forever to do the simplest of tasks & tempers have been so high. Last Thursday, I was written up because while my voice was croaky, I didn't sound happy happy all the time & for asking questions (I was called combative) the write up called me toxic! one person in particular seemed to really hate me because most of the complaints were her. I was given a week to improve or further discipline would be taken. Since then, I've been nauseous going to work. The weirdest thing is that this past week, my voice has recovered, the computers were fixed on Monday & the actual toxic person hasn't said much to me. It would have been a pleasant week if I didn't have this sword over my head. So, Thursday, the deadline comes & goes with absolutely no feedback & the manager won't be in on Monday. I have no idea if my job Is safe or (as I suspected) they are trying to get rid of me. I've been looking for a job since my 2nd week there but it's slow. My boyfriend was gone for 2 weeks on a trip & when he came home, i started crying. I didnt even realize how stressed i was until then. He has practically begged me to just quit by text or not show up on Monday. The problem is, I still have this boomer mentality when it comes to quiting even though I'm an older millennial. I feel so guilty because I would be leaving this poor 20 year old with zero experience alone. There's also the fear of the unknown, who knows how long it will take me to find a new job. I wouldn't even know what to say in this text. Honestly I don't even know what I need from this post. I have all my friends & my boyfriend telling me to quit but my boomer parents telling me to stick it out while looking for another job. Ugh, why is this so hard.
Tldr:
toxic workplace accused me of being toxic Gave me a week to improve
Week goes by, no feedback
Feels like a sword dangling over my head
Don't wanna go in on Monday
Feeling conflicted.