TLDR: my workplace f*cked me over and made me too depressed to do anything about it, i feel stuck
I don’t really know where to start. I’m f21 and have studied physics and worked as a research assistant at my university for the past three years.
In hindsight there were rad flags right from the beginning (that I happily ignored because the work itself was great). My PI was extremely busy plus he had health issues so I didn’t see a lot of him. He delegated (not officially) all his responsibilities in managing and teaching me to his phd, that was relatively young for a phd, 25 at the time.
That worked okay for a while until we were sent on that multiple month work trip. My PI told me the day before they had to change my contract for that time. I asked him what that’ll change and he told me it’s just a bureaucratic amenity because I’ll be abroad for so long. Within five minutes of that question I sat at the secretary and everyone urged me to get it done quickly, and the secretary was pretty harsh to me telling me I need to get my stuff in order and it’s my responsibility to come for the contract in time. (I don’t know why they set up the contact that late I agreed to the trip months in advance but I think the phd never communicated that to the PI and usually I got sent the contracts by mail). They didn’t even give me a copy of the contract and I had to sign I had no official affiliations to my university.
We were there for four months. Just me and the phd. I had to borrow an absurd amount of money to pay for the hotels we were staying at, thousands of euros. My contract was only for 20h although I worked much more at that time (and the country I was staying at was much more expensive than my home country), the PI told me they can’t hire students for more hours but I’ll get a daily allowance (abt 35€ a day) which I was ok with.
Well when I tried to send my receipts to the secretary they told me was responsible, I didn’t get a response for weeks. Apparently (and nobody had known or told me that, the phd repeatedly told me to send it to the unresponsive one) a completely different secretary was responsible for the kind of contract I had and the secretary I sent it to just ignored it cause she didn’t feel responsible. After about two months I got an angry mail from her to stop messaging her and send it to xy instead.
I was in debt about 8000€ at that point and my salary was 1000€ a month after tax. I repeatedly asked my PI if I will get that money back and if I will get the allowance and he said yes and not to worry. The phd only told me to not be hysterical and that I’m annoying everyone.
At a debt of about 12000€ I finally started getting money back, but the secretary said there is no allowance for the contract I’m in.
To say I was freaking out at that point is an understatement. And that’s not even where things really escalated. About a month before we went back my PI told me in a meeting that there had been several complaints from other students and other staff who found it was unfair I was working there. It was apparently so many students (he called it a mob) that the head of our group told him to cancel any further contracts, since it’s unfair to other students not having a job there and I shouldn’t get paid for learning (?!?). So they gave me a heads up about being let go after that semester…
Right. Then there was let’s say “romantic advances” from the phd. After I told him hard cut, I didn’t want that, his behavior towards me completely flipped. Before we worked great together and he’d frequently tell me he enjoyed working with me and i was doing good, when he did criticize me he did it in a respectful manner.
After that he’d flip out over everything. He’d be purposely be destructive, patronizing and demeaning. He’d frequently compare me to a child that needs to be disciplined. Once even making and argument that I should’ve been beaten by my parents. Telling me he has to be extra harsh to me now to reraise me or else I won’t be able to function in any other workplace. He’d tell me I mustn’t come to work when it’s been a few days since i was sick because I’m too stupid to recognize my symptoms and I’m just antisocial trying to make everyone in the office sick (he did that with other medical stuff too, making fun of me, asking me if I’m like this because I had adhd, telling me whatever medication I was taking didn’t work because I seemed slow (that was when I told him I couldn’t come to work that day because I had an epileptic seizure and needed to go to the doctors). When I told him that behavior was crossing a line he told me that’s just his way of criticizing me and I’m entitled for asking him to treat me in a certain way, that I just can’t take criticism and then he’d usually attack my character telling me everything is a character flaw after that.
We were back at home at this point but I still had a few months of contract left. He’d then also try to separate me from my PI, flipping out telling me I lack respect for talking to my PI about organizational matters (even though the phd had no official supervisor role and couldn’t officially decide anything about me). He’d tell me it’s my fault the work trip cost too much and it’s my fault he might not get an extension of his contract cause of the lack of project finances, even implying I gave him a bad rep at the institute because someone had supposedly asked him how long he was still allowed to stay. That I ought to talk to him because our PI is annoyed when I don’t, etc. Telling me I shouldn’t be under the impression we are colleagues and that I ought to treat him as a figure of respect, making absurd claims about conversations we had months ago claiming they were proof I lacked respect for him.
He did that whole thing to another female student before me too, trying to force her salary back after she felt too uncomfortable to work with him.
I finally went to my PI telling him I didn’t want to work with this phd anymore, explained what had happened. And though he was understanding he seemed pretty uncomfortable and told me he won’t choose sides, but I don’t have to come for my last month of work.
I still have a thesis to finish that officially the PI is the supervisor of, but I need a lot of info and data from the phd and sometimes I feel like he purposely withholds infos. Not giving me the login data to the employee cloud, not giving me access to the paper from the work trip (that I’m on too…) etc. I’ve never seen the daily allowance and I am still missing over a thousand euros from the hotel expenses. The phd then told me I should stop complaining because I was paid in experience. I feel stuck, I have financial issues and the whole thing made me become clinically depressed.
Edit: spelling