How have you all survived the final hurdle of toxic workplace before entering your new career? What are your thoughts on taking a pay cut to make a career change?
I graduated with a degree in mental health nursing aged 21, coming from a family of mental health nurses and having hopes of making a genuine impact on peoples’ lives. I obtained my first nursing post as a Community Psychiatric Nurse. Within the first day of working in the NHS I quickly sobered to the idea that mental health services are extremely underfunded, and that most of my colleagues did not have the same positive intentions when working with service users. Most nurses, psychologists, psychiatrists, and administrators were evidently burnt-out, resentful, cynical, bitter, and unwilling to acknowledge this. They refused to develop professionally or change career paths due to the security of NHS contracts, pay, pension and sick leave entitlement. Workplace bullying and micromanaging was rife, lunchbreaks were timed, consistent staff conflict and on long term sick leave. Any excuse was used to speed up the discharge of chronically unwell patients, the entire field is more focussed on service statistics and litigation than providing safe, effective nursing care. I survived the experience as I was young, introverted and raised in a narcissistic abusive family so very clued up on coping with challenging personalities. I obtained a job within a college aimed at supporting students with their wellbeing during their studies. The office took the news of this badly, I remained calm and professional, it was humorous to witness 50 year old women becoming genuinely upset and fixated on a colleague progressing. I understand that rejection from others is a projection of their own emotions, and protection from a path that is not meant for us.
I have worked in my current job for many years in a service aiming to support disabled students. Education is just as toxic as the NHS. Bullying is evident on a daily basis in the office, I do not partake in office gossip of bullying and this makes me an outsider. Staff attitude towards the aim of the service is horrendous; service users attending to voice thoughts of suicide are treated with panic despite clear processes being in place to ensure their safety, colleagues are burnt out and see no issue in statements such as “tell them to go and kill themselves then, if they were serious about it they would have done it”.
I regret training in mental health due to the lack of genuine opportunities to engage with clients in a meaningful manner. In the office staff walk around like Zombies, most days I witness a colleague upset or tearful, the others are numb and silent, counting their hours until they can clock off.
This has impacted my health significantly, due to work related stress I am repeatedly physically unwell (headaches, anxiety, viruses, chest infections, sinus infections, insomnia). Most people in the office take repeated 6-12 months periods of sick leave with no issue, as absence management and return to work interviews do not take place. Managers are absent, avoidant, do not set standards, take months to reply to basic emails, there are no routine team meetings or communications.
I released that I have to leave the job this year as likely nothing will change and I will not allow myself to stoop to their low of treating vulnerable people with disrespect due to their unhappiness in personal life and their career choice.
My hope was that documenting this experience on Reddit would support me to evidence the malpractice, negligence, and toxicity of the field and gain advice on how best to proceed. I am introverted, the experience has lowered my self-esteem and I often worry that I am the problem. Recently morale in the office has hit an all time low, I admit that I have been slower to complete admin-based jobs and lost motivation to make a meaningful difference. My life has changed dramatically over the past years. I left the NHS, survived an abusive relationship, survived and escaped an emotionally abusive home, moved in with my new loving partner and created my own peaceful home. Change can be daunting, but I now see that staying in toxic situations of any kind is not an option and that I can and will create my own reality. My current salary is over 44k per year, most jobs I am applying for are approximately 30-35k per year, permanent contracts, better working conditions and less stress associated with the role. Family discourage me from leaving a well-paying and secure job despite the chaos and negligence, they have remained in toxic unhappy work situations which directly impacts their health, relationships, and life satisfaction as they fear the unknown. My loving partner recently left a toxic workplace and reassures me that there is more to this life than this – seeing him progress and feel valued in work inspires me.
I am applying for approximately 2 jobs per week, in the Learning Development field. Please, can anyone provide tips of how to survive in the bleak period between deciding to move and obtaining a job? I am researching good working practices, office etiquette, email etiquette and only applying to companies that I have fully researched employee reviews. Thank you for your time and any advice or guidance that may help.