I've been working from home since 2020 and only go to the office once every month or so usually just to get a work paper or a team gathering etc. This past year the company has been trying to get us all back to the office at least 3 days a week, but I just ignored the emails and my manager (who's based in an office in a different country) is okay with me continuing to work from home because my local team has recently dissolved (aka they fired everyone) so it's just me now and there's no point in going to the office.
So anyway, today I went, mainly because I needed some papers, and to “show up” so people still see me every once in a while. It was hell, is the least I can say. The commute was aweful — I ride an electric bike, which I usually really enjoy but today was so hot. The office is located within a huge business center away from the city center, so the whole vibe is so bad, all you see is corporate workers dressed in their corporate outfits, smoking or vaping and looking dead inside. The mood at the office was particularly bad today, I truly felt the absence of my team, they were one of the few lively people there. Everyone was busy doing their stupid jobs facing their stupid screens. I think the worst part was having to sit all day at a desk, in a chair, wearing pants and a stupid shirt when all I wanted was to by in my pyjamas or comfy workfromhome clothes. And my job is very energy consuming because it's purely creative, and demands a lot of focus and frequent breaks. Well I kept being interrupted because of people walking around, talking, greeting me, and I couldn't take any breaks because to do so I have to get out of the building and it was too hot outside and nowhere to sit comfortably and quite frankly it's just sad to see all those people smoking and looking miserable. Lunch break was so short and I had zero appetite. I usually read a few pages from my book after lunch but I just couldn't. Anyway, I can keep going on and on and it wouldn't describe how shitty this whole day at the office was. I felt dead inside. Like my soul was being sucked out of my body. I feel smothered. Now it's been over 3 hours that I'm home and I haven't recharged yet, I feel a strange kind of exhaustion, I have no appetite, I don't want to do anything not even scroll on social media or watch anything I just feel so broken and I'm honestly shocked at how much work can impact us.
End of rant.