I’m a full-time employee at a small organization that is largely team based, and I am finding it exceedingly frustrating and sometimes impossible to get things done, and I’m losing my interest in doing this work. I’m keeping this intentionally vague, but the work that I do is time-sensitive and directly impacts peoples’ lives.
This is my first job after my undergrad, and I’m not entirely sure what is normal for a job and what is uniquely toxic about this workplace (though I’m learning that “real world” jobs are pretty inherently toxic). Here are the main issues I’ve been experiencing:
Despite being a full-time employee, I am required to have at least two supervisors look over any work product before I can do anything with it. That includes emails and even internal documents. There have been several occasions where I have had to continually pester my supervisors to look over a time-sensitive email, and it doesn’t get sent for two months because I don’t have approval. Last week, I had one thing to do and couldn’t because no one responded/looked over my product.
Our org is vocally against power dynamics which exist in the various systems we interact with, yet we are the primary offenders. I’ve been the point person on this team since it was created, and it is the primary thing I do whereas everyone else on the team are on other teams, yet because I am just out of undergrad and do not have the same experience and title, I am often included last, if at all. Sometimes I am not included in important email chains and conversations and am still expected to know what is going on.
Despite being a small org, there are a LOT of personalities with a LOT of experience. And, unfortunately, that results in so many condescending tones and comments that I dread any conversation with my supervisors. I’ve always been pretty confident about what I know and don’t know, but they make me feel like such a complete idiot sometimes, even when I am right and they are wrong.
I’ve been so emotionally drained and frustrated at this job that I don’t even care about the good I’ve been able to do. I want to leave, but I’m such a people pleaser that I feel guilty about leaving. What makes it worse is that I’m slotted to be the next glorified personal assistant for my boss because the person currently holding that position is leaving at the end of the week. I know my parents would tell me to suck it up, but the pay is not worth the treatment (and I am definitely of the opinion that no pay is worth bad treatment).
Any and all advice would be welcome from people who have more experience in this. Especially revolving around how to talk about these issues with my supervisors and, if it comes to it, how to quit.