Just a vent…
I'm actually pretty lucky in terms of where I work but there's still so much bullshit. I have a lot of support, but I've been overworked for at least the last year due to staffing issues.
Here's the thing. I know I've made mistakes. I own them. But at the same time, I'm human. I have a max capacity, and I'm being pushed over the line. At any given point in the last year, I've been juggling 3-5 major projects and a litany of smaller tasks.
It sucks because I do take pride in my work and generally am a rockstar. As much as I want to care less, I can't help but try. And that's what makes failing so hard. I have always been honest that logistics is a weak spot for me and that's exactly where I'm making mistakes. Staying on top of emails is hard when you're planning multiple training events, providing cross training and support for a major grant, and moving forward on another huge project. It's too much, and I'm honestly mad that I feel like I failed here.
Mind you, this is on top of a last minute decision that absolutely changed direction on another big project. I feel so trapped. I'm looking, but can't make it to the finish line and it sucks.