At the very first few jobs I had as a teenager, my bosses threatened to fire me each time I called out sick. And at my job before my current one, I was fired for having a migraine and calling out ONCE, which sent me into financial insecurity.
This has caused me to, now near my mid-20’s, develop a severe fear of calling out sick, which is what I had to do today. Keep in mind, I hold the same general consensus as we all in this subreddit do on these topics, but I still struggle with guilt.
It sucks that even with aches, shakes, nausea and almost passing out + other things this morning, that I care so much about inconveniencing my boss for needing to go fulfill my duties that I can barely think about what I need to do to get better. I feel really ashamed and conditioned for having back to back anxiety attacks topping off my already existing sickness because my boss was relying on me to come in early to clean.
Also, today is our busiest day out of the week, so I feel shitty for not being able to be there for that. My boss sounded so stressed on the phone. Sighing and stuff. Rightfully so, because of our expected customer volume. But still. I’m sick. And we are really strict on sanitation and cleanliness, too, so coming in actually defeats our ethics, realistically speaking.
Trying really hard to prioritize myself, but I hate that it’s causing an inconvenience of another. I don’t wanna be fired or treated poorly or not trusted in my workplace after this. I’m praying this place isn’t like the rest.
Again, I’m the first to try and empower another in these instances, I’m aware of the realities of it all, but when it’s me it becomes really tough.