I (27M) work for a non-profit in land conservation. It is a very small organization and I am one of just a few employees. I have 3 advanced degrees in varying subjects. As I finished school I began looking for jobs “in my field” and applied all over. Eventually got hired by this place. I literally moved across the country for the job (3000+ miles). At the time I was feeling lost and needed a change of pace as I was dealing with the some other existential problems in my life.
The good: I feel good about my job— it aligns with my morals. I live in a very beautiful place and get to spend time outdoors for work.
The bad: I get paid $23 an hour (it was $22 before I negotiated for some commute reimbursement), am part time and the commute to my work is quite costly in both time and $ for some interesting logistical reasons. I have virtually no benefits. I don’t really like the structure or feel of non-profit work so far and think I have decided it isn’t for me. I also am having a very hard time adjusting to the culture where I’m living and have found that I deeply miss home and the people I left behind.
I work as a carpenter for my other job (they started me at $25 an hour though I only have 2 years experience) and think I have decided that I may want to follow that path, back home, and just try to be self-sufficient. My family has land, I have agricultural and building knowledge, it aligns with my world view and sounds possible.
Why then do I feel the obligation to stay for a certain amount of time and feel guilty for wanting to leave? They don’t pay me very well, it’s only enjoyable for certain reasons, and I’m not gaining a lot in terms of skills or capital. I think I just feel bad for the people I work with/for and like many of them. Many of the board members have asked if I will be staying a long time, if I will take on more hours, etc. etc. I feel guilty leaving as I just started in Feb. but I hope to be back home by next spring/early summer. I know I’m a good worker and I know they feel it too, but even if they gave me a $10/hr raise I likely wouldn’t stay long. Please help assuage my guilt for wanting to leave.