Let's see if I can put my words together cohesively. I work at a Walmart distribution center. My job, basically, is to push a cart around my area, called the pick mod, and pick up smallish items, such as shirts and blankets, to the packing station so they can be boxed, labelled, and shipped to people's houses. I'm autistic, and very sensitive to noise as a result. Warehouses are full of painful noises, and I was told during orientation that we aren't allowed to have hearing protection. I have depression, and it's bad enough now that it's slowing me down physically and mentally. We have a certain quota to meet, and I can only meet it on rare occasions, which leads me to getting talked to. I can't afford to lose my job, but I can't make myself speed up. It's stressful, and the stress slows me down even more, and makes me have to go hide in the bathroom so I can calm myself with music. There's a very limited amount of jobs I can kind of do, and of those, they usually are warehouse and factory jobs. They either pay too little, or they have certain things about them that force them to be temporary, such as the machines being too fast for me to be able to cope. I detest the fact that the world is like this. I don't WANT to work. I'm FORCED to work, because I'd rather be dead than homeless. I also have pets I need to be alive to care for. I'm so beyond frustrated, and I have basically no hope that things will ever get better. I want to have hope, but I'm not seeing evidence that hope is justified. I'm so fucking tired.