Month: February 2023

[I have diagnosed general anxiety disorder] Edit: I work from home to a small company I was supposed to get my payment this Monday, and I'm in the middle of moving to a new apartment so I'm definitely spending a bit more than usual. This is not the first time my payment is delayed, but in the other times it was only 1 day delayed. I texted my boss yesterday and he was like “oh sorry I forgot, I was traveling”. Okay, no problem. But then he didn't pay me yesterday. How can I ask for this payment again? I just don't know how to ask for it being polite and still firm about it. I really need the money ASAP, and this whole situation is making me feel super anxious, I have hyperhidrosis and it's super bad. I feel kinda disrespected, you know? It's so stressful

I got fired today. I really got fired today. Fucking Hell, I really got fired today. And that too over a stupid and a useless reason. SO FUCKING STUPID. I cried a lot today. What should I do? I didn't even get time to process it, fucking hell! I really got fired today! What has my life come to? They said that they want to hire someone who has a lot of experience and that I can't do anything right. Am I at fault for not having enough experience? Will I never be good enough? This shit sucks. THERE IS ALWAYS GOING TO BE SOMEONE WHO WILL HAVE MORE EXPERIENCE THAN ME AND WILL BE BETTER THAN ME, RIGHT? SO WHY DID THEY EVEN COMPARE ME? I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS SHIT. I put in a lot of effort, and I GAVE IT MY ALL. BUT WHAT DID I GET IN…

I switched from academia to industry for the hopes it might be better. I put my soul and energy from 8 to 7 pm like crazy. I felt my soul was taken, there was something thing wrong. I felt I am in a strange place even though I received praise just to be continue to trade my time and soul. Although I expressed my desires to leave first time, I was told no because of how good I am as a tool. The last straw was scolding for a mistake I never did and telling me about weirdly how bosses of the bosses are so important. Fuck bosses FUCK slavery I was treated if I was a small person although of what I achieved I was valuable as a tool in a machine. It felt so good have dignity I am free

I’m just flabbergasted. I’ve never been “pro work”, but I like my job and enjoy the work that I do. And this has just taken all the wind out of my sails. I haven’t even been able to respond to the email because I can’t for the life of me find a constructive, professional way say “listen mother fucker: you made the schedule. If you think I worked too many hours, learn how to build a fucking production schedule” I’m not really looking for advice, just unbelievably pissed off.

My department is in office this week. Somebody decided to do a scavenger hunt, and trivia bingo. Ok – I’m game for something different. The first ten people win a company branded 10oz thermal travel cup, and then the next so many get snacks. Whatever – I’m in it for the stimulation, not the prizes. The scavenger hunt is to find the little pictures of [redacted spokesperson] scattered around the office and take selfies… ok – what do we do with them? How many to get a prize? The trivia bingo – I’m game for a good wiki-spiral on company time, and it is neat to learn about the black history and women’s health stuff they slip in… until I’ve gone on 3 rants already about how inaccurate the questions are. I spent 15 minutes this morning writing a rant about how inventing the Industrial Standard Architecture Bus =/= inventing…

I'm in my 40s. I've been working in well paid, professional careers since I graduated college. I did everything I was supposed to do. I was promoted a few times and now I'm in a very well paid job. The problem is, I fucking hate it. I hate the bullshit politics. I hate my coworkers and bosses pretending to care about me, while simultaneously stabbing me in the back to get ahead. I hate working 50+ hours a week to define strategy for companies that add no value to society. I hate everything about it all. My therapist says I should practice being more grateful. I have a very well paying job. I have a roof over my head. I get to work at home with my dog. I'm grateful for these things, but I'm just so sick of the whole thing. I'm sick of participating in a system where…