Month: November 2023

I've worked in this nightclub for almost a year now. This whole time I've been efforting constantly to get along with other people. It's run by all under 30 staff, and it's been really difficult. I had no idea why I was finding it so difficult, I worked another job a few years ago with chill middle aged men and felt so at ease, we'd talk about books, movies, funny stories, it was easy and fun but this… So many times I went home from shifts crying because someone else (another woman usually,) would put me down and make me feel small. The whole culture is you're either in, or you're out, and I could never find out how to just be friends with any of these people, whilst for them, they live and die by this nightclub. They'd insinuate that I could be responsible for missing money, share judgemental…

So, I've been working at this company since march. I was responsible for training and evaluation of new hires, repairing stuff that's broken, coming up with new creative ideas and making sure that there was reserve and stuff of everything. I know, it's a lot. But that's what I really liked because there was a lot of variation. During the summer I got a burn out from all the work. My boss said 'I like seeing people crash so I know where their limit is. It's a learning experience.' I shoul have quit then. After three weeks of vacation I felt better so back to work I went. In this job I don't really have free time without getting a message or call about work, because I'm responsible for repairs and know of everything. I didn't enjoy this aspect of the job but I knew it was part of it.…

I have disabled adult children, sometimes I get overwhelmed. Today is Monday and I had a panic attack /crying fit this morning, I have over a week of PTO left this calendar year but I can’t just relax and give myself a day to work quietly in my sweatpants instead of going into the office to do the same thing. I’m so mind fucked by the system… Nothing is wrong, nobody is telling me I’d better get my ass in that desk chair. It’s my own voice in my head telling me I’m a POS, I need a therapist and hey are hard to find theses days. It’s the insecurities of working for wages that fucks me up the most. If I lose my job my family suffers, I’m afraid to spend too much money, afraid to get hurt, afraid to make mistakes. Fucking work-life mind buggary

9 months into the 9-5 grind and I’m still not fully adjusted to it. I’m still so angry and bitter and frustrated that this is my goddamn life now. Thanksgiving break used to be 5 days long. Winter break was a month. Now I have to fight tooth and nail for the chance to have ONE REMOTE DAY on the day after Thanksgiving, even though our operations are shut down so there’s literally no reason for me to go in person. I’ve been looking forward to having Thanksgiving day off and Black Friday remote for the entire month. One measly day off for Thanksgiving, then straight back to work. One measly day off for Christmas, Christmas Eve not even included, then straight back to work. And before any of you come at me with “dOn’t Be sO lAzY” and “sUcK iT uP bUtTeRcUP””, I DON’T WANT TO JUST SIT AROUND…

9 months into the 9-5 grind and I’m still not fully adjusted to it. I’m still so angry and bitter and frustrated that this is my goddamn life now. Thanksgiving break used to be 5 days long. Winter break was a month. Now I have to fight tooth and nail for the chance to have ONE REMOTE DAY on the day after Thanksgiving, even though our operations are shut down so there’s literally no reason for me to go in person. I’ve been looking forward to having Thanksgiving day off and Black Friday remote for the entire month. One measly day off for Thanksgiving, then straight back to work. One measly day off for Christmas, Christmas Eve not even included, then straight back to work. And before any of you come at me with “dOn’t Be sO lAzY” and “sUcK iT uP bUtTeRcUP””, I DON’T WANT TO JUST SIT AROUND…

9 months into the 9-5 grind and I’m still not fully adjusted to it. I’m still so angry and bitter and frustrated that this is my goddamn life now. Thanksgiving break used to be 5 days long. Winter break was a month. Now I have to fight tooth and nail for the chance to have ONE REMOTE DAY on the day after Thanksgiving, even though our operations are shut down so there’s literally no reason for me to go in person. I’ve been looking forward to having Thanksgiving day off and Black Friday remote for the entire month. One measly day off for Thanksgiving, then straight back to work. One measly day off for Christmas, Christmas Eve not even included, then straight back to work. And before any of you come at me with “dOn’t Be sO lAzY” and “sUcK iT uP bUtTeRcUP””, I DON’T WANT TO JUST SIT AROUND…

Posted here and PowerBI sub So I’m at a small foundry that’s been around 113 years. They do a lot on paper including time tracking and accounting. Zero analytics. I was asked if I could help streamline the quoting process which was manually going through the ERP looking for similar parts based on 8 attributes. I brought the data sources into PowerBI, setting up a nice table that is filtered by all these attributes to give the similar part. All minds were blown and it’s exactly what was needed, except they’re asking if I can build this in Excel (2010) literally because “they move slow on technology.” I explained the (2) end users can download PowerBI to use the report immediately, or we could upload to shared workspace if they wanna go premium to have browser version. The people complaining no one wants to work, literally want to claw back…

At first I thought it was just social conditioning, brainwashing, peer pressure. (It's some of it) But eventually I just came to the conclusion that there simply wasn't much happening in their heads. NOT that they were smart or dumb. Because I realize a lot of life is about privilege rather than intelligence. But because there truly isn't anything too significant happening up there in the noggin. Nothing too special. My favorite part about growing up is being able to make friends who make 40-70 a year doing freelance, working part time and scamming the system. Being around like minded people is great for my mental health. Growing up it was so isolating. People wouldn't even TRY to find another way of living. ​