Hi all. Around 9 years ago, I started my first full time job at around 21 years old. I was living in a small town and am a very diverse woman, especially in comparison to the population I was working with. I was working in a Tech role with all men over 30 and had difficulty connecting with them. My boss also made racial comments against me. It was my first full time job ever and I honestly just thought all of this was normal. With that, I was pretty socially awkward on the team. The person they also had train me, sexually harassed me and would force me to hug him at the end of one on one meetings with him. I am a first gen and really needed this job to support my family so I just powered through all of this, but was notably depressed and quiet at work. The person who trained me also did a terrible job and one day, my boss made me show the whole team what I was doing and it was incorrect and he humiliated me in front of everyone.
My boss also told me that he tried to get me fired but couldn’t and found a lot of frustration in that. He was also in the military previously and killed people of my ethnic background and had no issue telling me this often.
It was an incredibly traumatic experience, but I got a new job with a new boss in a bigger city and had much more success.
I left that job a few years later for another one. My old boss left the old company and now there’s a new job available on that team with new management — a friend of mine has been advocating for me to get this role and I’ve been so excited.
Well, what broke my heart is that apparently, one of the SME’s who was in the role with me with the bad manager is apparently telling everyone including the big director that he as concerns about me joining the team and questions my qualifications.
I can’t help but feel like he and my boss were best friends and he didn’t like that I wasn’t going to grovel at their feet when they were horrible to me.
Anywho, this older man is trying to sabotage me from this new job that I was very excited about. Whatever grievances he has for me are from 9 years ago and I don’t even know what I did other than maybe being anti-social and a bit socially awkward as a 21 year old Latina in a group of old men.
A part of me wants to confront him directly for spreading rumors, gossip, and hostility toward me. Another part of me just wants to move on. This feels like a defamation of my character and I am so hurt/angry. Another. Part of me just wants to apply for other jobs and drop this altogether.
TLDR: had a terrible experience in my first full time job and now an old coworker is trying to sabotage me from new jobs.
I’m seeking advice and empathy.