I work in pediatric mental health care. I see and hear the most heartbreaking, devastating disclosures you can imagine on a daily basis. I help take care of acute children for up to three months at a time. Children have tried to die in front of me. Every month is more than paycheck to paycheck. My bank account was -$49 dollars this week. What’s more traumatic than the blood and piss and horror I work around on a daily basis is that I can’t pay my bills. I’m genuinely defeated. I’ve given everything for this place. The company I work for absolutely has the budget and the means to pay floor staff more but refuses. I feel stuck. The toxic positivity is killing me. It’s like an abusive relationship because this is the best I can do. My managers told me to download a meditation ap or go on a walk because “The best self care is free”. When I tell them I can’t make ends meet they smirk and tell me “that’s reality” while they make salary and drink Starbucks every day for “self care”. There’s no escaping the exploitation. What’s the point?